Good Week, Bad Week

Good week for:

Improvising, after pilot Tony Weedn lost engine power in his Cessna 4,000 feet over Panama City, Fla., saw that both the highway and beach were full of people, and glided to a safe landing on the 17th green at the Shark’s Tooth Golf Course.

The Empire, after a man dressed as Darth Vader, complete with his iconic helmet and cape, robbed a bank on Long Island, N.Y., and got away with thousands of dollars. Police warned that the robber was armed—with a semiautomatic pistol, not a lightsaber.

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Theft protection, after residents of Shitterton, England, contributed $31 each to buy a theft-proof sign—a 3,000-pound boulder engraved with the town’s name, cemented to the ground. Their previous signs were frequently stolen.

Bad week for:

Cost-saving measures, after a cash-strapped prison in Argentina placed a dummy in a watchtower to pose as a guard. Two inmates figured out that the guard wasn’t real, climbed over a fence and a wall, and escaped.

Vivian, S.D., which was pummeled by massive hailstones that punched fist-size holes in roofs and cars. One hailstone, 18 inches around, weighed 1.93 pounds—a world record.

Kings of Leon, after the rock band walked off the stage in St. Louis when pigeons in the rafters of the amphitheater kept pooping on them. Bassist Jared Followill was hit in the face and head several times, and said that if he’d kept playing, “I would have been covered from head to toe.”