Michelle Williams without Heath Ledger

Michelle Williams is still in mourning, says Sally Singer in Vogue. When Heath Ledger, her ex-boyfriend and father of her daughter, died of a drug overdose 20 months ago, she was devastated. “I just don’t see the upside to this,” she says. “You console yourself by saying it’s all a deepening process. But it’s weird. After the first year, the pain is less intense. But the magical thinking goes away, too. And that’s a whole new reckoning. I was holding it together by string and a paper clip in the fall and winter.” For a while, Williams sought solace in a romance with director Spike Jonze. But it fell apart. “The timing was impossible. I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain. It just makes things more complicated.” She’s decided instead to focus on her daughter, and the support of friends. “One got me gardening in the spring, and that’s when it started to turn around. I think it’s something about being in nature. I remember being on my hands and knees. The ground was cold and muddy. I pushed back the dead leaves and saw the bright green shoots of spring. Under all this decay something was growing. Caring for the garden reminded me to care for myself.”

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