Good week for:
Diplomacy, after a Kenyan man offered Hillary Clinton 20 cows and 40 goats in exchange for her daughter Chelsea’s hand in marriage. “My daughter is her own person,” Clinton replied. “I will convey this very kind offer.”
Max, the oldest dog in the world, who just celebrated his 26th
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(or 182nd, in dog years) birthday. “I never spoiled Max,” said
his owner, Janelle Derouen of Louisiana. “We don’t give him
food from our table and he doesn’t have any fancy toys, just a bit of rope.”
Multitasking, after a Melbourne, Australia, pub installed a rear-projector TV on the back wall of its urinal. Now, patrons don’t have to miss a second of the game when they have to go, and can entertain themselves by peeing on the opposing team.
Bad week for:
Bing Crosby fans, after Bob Dylan announced that he is recording an album of Christmas songs, including “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and “Here Comes Santa Claus.”
The Connecticut Nursing Association, which honored Betty Lichtenstein of Norwalk, Conn., as the 2008 “Nurse of the Year.” Authorities have charged that Lichtenstein isn’t really a nurse, and that she created the association—and staged a dinner in her honor—to bolster her résumé and get a job.
Going numero dos, after Cuba’s state-run toilet-paper manufacturer said it had run out of paper and money, and warned that the island would face severe shortages until the end of the year, when “emergency” imports would arrive.
