How to tell if porn is truly homegrown

last updated 8 January 2015

Lyn Cockburn

The Edmonton Sun

Canada is finally getting its very own pornographic cable channel, said Lyn Cockburn. And thoroughly Canadian it will be. Real Productions announced that the new channel, Northern Peaks, would have far more than the 15 percent “Canadian-made content” required by law. Instead, fully 50 percent of the network’s steamy videos will be Canadian. “We want to be Canada’s adult channel, and I think to do that, 15 percent wouldn’t cut it,” said Real Productions CEO Shaun Donnelly. How patriotic. But can we believe him? After all, most sex scenes are filmed indoors, and we have only the producers’ word for it that the studio is in Canada. Therefore, “I want Canadian landmarks in my Canadian porn.” Lewd acts should take place “on the Skytrain in Vancouver,” say, or “atop the legislature” in front of the famous Golden Boy statue in Winnipeg. Better yet, to ensure that “no Californians or Czechoslovakians sneak into the cast,” require all Canadian porn stars to be tattooed with the maple leaf—“in strategic places.”