Lavender marriage is getting a generational remix. Historically, these unions were often implemented to protect queer individuals. They can also involve “one queer individual marrying another queer person or a heterosexual person of the opposite sex, strictly for the legal benefits and convenience,” said Vice. Now, Millennials and Gen Z are embracing the legal maneuver in response to not just the current regressive threat against LGBTQ+ rights but also to ease financial burden and relish the emotional support of platonic companionship.
Background
Lavender marriages “formed as a way of concealing same-sex attraction in a society where being openly queer could mean social ostracism, career ruin or even criminalization,” Gio Dolcecore, an assistant professor of social work at Mount Royal University, said at The Conversation. The terminology “mainly gained traction in early 20th-century Hollywood, where image was paramount and being openly queer could have ended careers,” said DW.
These unions were not ones of love and were usually “calculated arrangements, often orchestrated by studios or agents," said DW. However, “like any relationship, the reason people would choose to enter a lavender marriage differs from couple to couple,” said Them.
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While considered an antiquated union in the U.S., especially since the legalization of same-sex marriage in 2015 and the broader societal acceptance of queer people, new circumstances have reignited the interest in lavender marriages. “Censorship of queer culture is on the rise as political and social movements directly attack the LGBTQ+ community,” said Dolcecore. This includes book bans, the criticism of drag performers and the ongoing attacks on the transgender community.
Along with the revitalized suppression of queer people, modern financial circumstances have affected marriages. “With rising health care and housing costs, marrying a trusted friend could offer stability,” said DW. Unfortunately, “romance doesn’t pay the bills.” The renewed interest in lavender marriages “reflects deeper shifts in how people view relationships,” in that marriage can just be a “legal contract that offers tangible benefits — tax breaks, health insurance, immigration status or even coparenting rights.”
The reaction
The reframing of lavender marriages for the purposes of financial stability can “erase the very real and often painful reasons these marriages existed,” Jennifer Gunsaullus, a sociologist, sexologist and relationship expert, said to Cosmopolitan. However, the original reason may not have disappeared entirely. “There are still many parts of the world where being openly queer is dangerous, even illegal,” Edward Reese, a gender and sexuality expert at the LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi, said to Vice. “In many states, a young person wouldn’t want to admit to their conservative parents they are not straight.”
There has also been a growing ideological divide between men and women globally, contributing to falling birth rates and fewer heterosexual marriages. The promise of a platonic partner with whom to share burdens is enticing. “It might be enough to be roommates with a best friend — until they end up in a hospital and there are no living relatives, or they are estranged and would not necessarily be the ones to be trusted with vital decisions,” said Reese.
“Learning the history of how queer and trans people survived and defended each other is critical,” said Them. Lavender marriages “represent an interesting nexus of love, relationships, legality and societal pressures.”
