Men think they're doing their share of housework. They're not.
The gender gap is taking a toll on women's mental health and is not showing signs of getting better.
The household gender divide is as old as time. Studies show that even in progressive (heterosexual) households, women tend to do more of the housework than men. Is there any hope of change?
Men "seem to think" they are doing their fair share of the chores, said The Washington Post. A YouGov survey revealed that 81% of men living with partners "responded with confidence" that they were pulling their weight around the house. But statistics from the Bureau of Labor Statistics tell a somewhat different story: Women "cooked, cleaned and did yard work" for nearly two hours a day, according to the study. Their male partners did only half that amount. But that is more housework than men used to do — and the increased chore time is coming largely in the form of meal preparation. "Men are gaining," said the Post.
Overall, though, the gender divide "continues to linger," Bev Betkowski said at the University of Alberta's Folio. New research from the university suggests that women who carried the bulk of the housework load at age 25 still bear the same heavy burdens decades later as they move into middle age — and that "women's domestic workload only increased during the child-rearing years." It is important to lay out the ground rules early. When patterns are "set early in the relationship, they tend to persist," said Matthew Johnson, a relationship researcher at the University of Alberta.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Who is responsible for a clean household?
Having a male partner "means more work for women, not less," Annie Lowrey said at The Atlantic, citing a recent study from the Gender Equity Policy Institute. While married women do more housework than single women, married men do about the same amount as single men. Some of this can be explained by employment status: "The person earning more does less around the house." But women who are the primary breadwinners in their households "still devote more time to domestic care." Men continue to internalize the message that an "untidy home is not their responsibility," Lowrey said.
All this takes a toll on women's mental health, the University of Southern California's Darby Saxbe and Lizzie Aviv said at The Conversation. Their research found that women who take on a "disproportionate" share of the household burden report higher levels of "depression, stress, relationship dissatisfaction and burnout." Women do not just do more housework. They perform more of the "cognitive labor" of "anticipating, planning, delegating and thinking" about the housework that needs to be done. That "pulls mental energy away from other priorities," Saxbe and Aviv said, which can lead to higher rates of depression and is also bad for relationships. The unfair division of household chores is "often cited by women as a reason for divorce."
How can men pitch in more?
Even if the gap is narrowing, "there's still a long way to go," Stefania Sainato said at Motherly. Couples should establish household standards together with a "shared vision of what a 'clean' home looks like." They should also address the "mental load" of tasks like "planning meals or tracking playdates" that are not necessarily on the to-do list. And when possible, they should get their kids involved. "Small changes add up," Sainato said.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Joel Mathis is a writer with 30 years of newspaper and online journalism experience. His work also regularly appears in National Geographic and The Kansas City Star. His awards include best online commentary at the Online News Association and (twice) at the City and Regional Magazine Association.
-
TikTok alternatives seeing a popularity surge as app ban looms
The Explainer TikTok is now prohibited from app stores in the United States
By Justin Klawans, The Week US Published
-
'A good deal is one in which everyone walks away happy or everyone walks away mad'
Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
By Justin Klawans, The Week US Published
-
How will home insurance change after LA's fires?
Today's Big Question Climate disasters leave insurance industry in crisis
By Joel Mathis, The Week US Published
-
Saoirse Ronan: how the actress went viral
In the Spotlight The actress dropped a 'chat-icide bomb' on Graham Norton's BBC show
By The Week UK Published
-
The couples who run their marriage like a business
In the Spotlight Using business principles in the home touted as a potential solution to gender disparity in domestic labour
By Chas Newkey-Burden, The Week UK Published
-
The sleep-divorce trend: Is sleeping apart better for married couples?
In the Spotlight Couples are jumping into separate beds or bedrooms and say it is doing wonders for their marriage
By Theara Coleman, The Week US Published
-
Boysober: the rebranding of female celibacy
Under the Radar Voluntarily abstaining from sex is gaining traction as a feminist choice amid erosion of reproductive rights and dating app fatigue
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
Kim Kardashian's Met Gala corset: designed for drama but a step too far?
In the Spotlight Reality TV star shocks with 'impossibly tiny waist' at this year's fashion event, echoing controversies from previous outfits
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
Polyamory is having a moment(s)
In the Spotlight The latest in loving more — and those who want less of it
By Scott Hocker, The Week US Published
-
The most weird and wonderful wedding traditions around the world
In Depth From gifting whale teeth to flogging the groom’s feet, matrimonial ceremonies vary around the world
By Ellie Pink Published
-
The pros and cons of marriage
Pros and Cons Fewer couples in the UK are choosing to tie the knot – but those who do are staying together longer
By Richard Windsor, The Week UK Last updated