Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers gawk at Trump's Gitmo plan, chide bishops for 'Holy Ghosting' Biden

"A New York City Council candidate is receiving attention online after a video of him visiting a dominatrix was posted to Twitter — the whole incident was so humiliating, he gave the dominatrix an extra $1,000," Seth Meyers joked on Monday's Late Night. "According to a new book, former President Trump suggested that Americans who were abroad and infected with the coronavirus should be sent to Guantanamo Bay so the number of cases would not increase. This brings us to our new segment, 'Seth Discovers He Can Still Experience Shock.'"
"Of course the reality TV star wanted to send them to an island," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "He probably sent a camera crew, too, and called it Survirus or something."
Yes, according to the new book, "the president wanted to send cruise ship passengers to Gitmo — so, enjoy your beach day with complementary head sack, then hit the bar for bottomless piña colada–boarding," Stephen Colbert joked, darkly, at The Late Show. The book also recounted a time Trump inadvertently called Jared Kushner an "idiot," he said. "Imagine being in that administration and someone calling you 'the idiot.' That's like being in the NBA and your nickname is 'the tall guy.'"
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
In Catholic news, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops took a step last week toward trying to deny President Biden communion, Colbert said. "Yep, they're Holy Ghosting him," he deadpanned. "Now, listen. People know this, I'm Catholic, but Biden is sooo Catholic. He's the only guest I've ever spent time with backstage talking about the consolations of God and the need for daily rosary — so far! Ball's in your court, Andrew Garfield."
The U.S. bishops want to punish Biden for publicly supporting abortion rights, but "I'm not sure how serious the bishops are here — if they really wanted to punish Biden, they'd move him to a different parish and not tell anyone why they did it," Colbert jabbed. "This is a big deal for a lot of reasons, one of which is that Biden is only the second Catholic to occupy the White House, after John Kennedy. But JFK was never denied communion, because he always went to confession after banging Marylyn Monroe."
Colbert noted that the dominatrix-visiting New York council candidate's father co-created Dora the Explorer, joking that the candidate himself "created the less-popular spinoff, Marian the Disciplinarian."
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Book reviews: ‘Red Scare: Blacklists, McCarthyism, and the Making of Modern America’ and ‘How to End a Story: Collected Diaries, 1978–1998’
Feature A political ‘witch hunt’ and Helen Garner’s journal entries
By The Week US Published
-
The backlash against ChatGPT's Studio Ghibli filter
The Explainer The studio's charming style has become part of a nebulous social media trend
By Theara Coleman, The Week US Published
-
Why are student loan borrowers falling behind on payments?
Today's Big Question Delinquencies surge as the Trump administration upends the program
By Joel Mathis, The Week US Published
-
US foodies brace for tariff war
Under The Radar Shoppers stocking up on imported olive oil, maple syrup and European wine as price hikes loom
By Chas Newkey-Burden, The Week UK Published
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wife
speed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
How does the Kennedy Center work?
The Explainer The D.C. institution has become a cultural touchstone. Why did Trump take over?
By Joel Mathis, The Week US Published
-
Giant schnauzer wins top prize at Westminster show
Speed Read Monty won best in show at the 149th Westminster Kennel Club dog show
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own room
Speed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talks
Speed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tour
Speed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published