The Week contest: Dead dial-up

This week's question: AOL has announced that it will soon discontinue its dial-up service, which — with beeps, boops, whirrs and screeches — first connected the masses to the internet in the 1990s. In seven or fewer words, come up with an epitaph for this now-archaic mode of accessing the World Wide Web.

Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Adult pacifier

RESULTS:

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THE WINNER: "You got stale"

Michael Tangredi, St. Joseph, Minnesota

SECOND PLACE: "Here lies (buffering) an old friend (buffering)..."

Rich Wolf, Westminster, Maryland

THIRD PLACE: "Timed out, but not forgotten"

Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

"Rest in beeps"

George Strong, Plano, Texas

"Taken too slow, but not too soon"

Geno Recupero, Palm Desert, California

"You've got no more mail"

Ken Kellam III, Dallas, Texas

"502: Bad Gateway Forever"

Kenneth Jensen, Richland, Washington

"Let sleeping logins die"

Laurel Rose, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

"May you connect to heaven… eventually"

Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Connecticut

"It screeched to a halt"

Peter Gordon, Great Neck, New York

"Eternity can wait, finish my download first"

Matt Weatherly, Hillsborough, North Carolina