Speed Reads

The Daily Showdown

Jon Stewart handicaps the 2016 presidential race, nails Chris Christie for Cowboys embrace

It's barely 2015 and all anyone can talk about is 2016, Jon Stewart said on Monday night's Daily Show. He ran through the candidates who have already more or less declared their candidacy for president, summarily writing off also-rans before getting to the big guns: Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush. With Bush resigning from his corporate board seats and Mike Huckabee quitting his Fox News show "it's becoming harder and harder to tell the difference between someone running for president or joining a cult," Stewart said, intoning: "I'm afraid that if I want to live in the big white house, I must renounce all my earthly ties."

But things got personal when Stewart came to "backstabbing" New Jersey Gov. Christ Christie, who spent Sunday in Dallas, watching the Dallas Cowboys — "the most hated team in the Tri-State Area" — play from the box of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. "You lead a state, Christie, that's half Giants fans and half Eagles fans, and you're groping the owner of the Dallas f--king Cowboys?" Stewart growled. "Why don't you just break a copy of Born to Run over the head of a Hurricane Sandy victim?" If you stick around until the end, Stewart makes his early 2016 endorsement. --Peter Weber