Speed Reads

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This is what four days of inane Clinton-Chipotle coverage looks like

On Monday, Hillary Clinton popped into a Chipotle in Ohio, sending reverberations through the 2016 race. What did the former secretary of state order? And what did her order mean? Did a side of hot sauce signify a fiery new attitude? Did the choice of toppings reveal hubris — "I will cream my rivals and make them sour"?

So devoid of delicious, filling details, the political press was forced to churn out stories as insubstantial and bland as unfilled tortillas. To the headlines:

The Meal

Hillary Clinton Makes Surprise Pit Stop at Chipotle in Ohio During Presidential Roadtrip [ABC]

Hillary Clinton, a Van, and a Stop for Chipotle [NBC]

Clinton road trip: Chipotle, cottage cheese and Scooby snacks [CNN]

Hillary Clinton Goes Unnoticed at Chipotle [Time]

Hillary Clinton goes unnoticed at Chipotle in botched retail politicking bid [The Washington Times]

Here's what Hillary Clinton ordered at Chipotle [Business Insider]

Customer #0045, or Hillary Clinton's Burrito Bowl [The New Yorker]

Grandma Hillary gets a burrito bowl — and tongues are wagging [Metro]

Are Hillary Clinton And Huma Hungover? This Photo Might Be Proof. [Daily Caller]

The Digestion

Halperin Praises Clinton's Newness: 'We've Never Seen Her Get a Burrito Before' [Mediaite]

Clinton Bypassed Centrist Taco Bell for Liberal Favorite Chipotle [The Wall Street Journal]

Hillary Clinton's Chipotle Order: Above Average [The New York Times]

What Hillary Clinton's Chipotle stop says about her campaign (+video) [The Christian Science Monitor]

Sign of the times: Hillary goes to Chipotle, not McDonald's [CNN Money]

How Chipotle Became A Political Campaign Stop [The Huffington Post]

Hillary Clinton, Shareworthy? [The New Yorker]

A burrito barometer: What Hillary's Chipotle moment could foreshadow [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Remaking Clinton, one burrito bowl at a time [Tampa Bay Times]

The head of the Republican Party says Hillary Clinton's Chipotle trip revealed a huge flaw in her campaign [Business Insider]

Fox Host: Hillary Clinton Ate At Chipotle For 'Hispanic Outreach' (VIDEO) [Talking Points Memo]

Hillary went unrecognized at an Ohio Chipotle today and I don't know what it means [Hot Air]

OUT OF TOUCH: HILLARY EATS BURRITO WHILE TRAVELING WITH OTHERS IN A VAN [Breitbart]

The Leftovers

Chipotle Manager: Hillary Clinton Didn't Leave Anything in Tip Jar [Bloomberg]

Hillary Has A History Of Stiffing Waitresses, Hair Stylists [Daily Caller]

The 'everyday people' who made Hillary Clinton's burrito bowl [Politico]

Hillary's Chipotle campaign: How the press is subsisting on scraps [Fox News]