On Tuesday, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in a case that could end with a national right to same-sex marriage. It "was mainly a forum for gay-marriage opponents to air their best and final arguments," Jon Stewart said on Wednesday's Daily Show. And looking at those arguments, he rendered judgment: "You got nothin'."
To make his case, Stewart played audio from the oral arguments, then offered his rebuttals. If you believe that the Supreme Court should not decide that same-sex couples have a right to wed legally, Stewart probably won't persuade you. If you think the justices should allow gay marriage, you'll nod along. But, of course, it doesn't matter what you think, only what, probably, Justice Anthony Kennedy does. Still, Stewart concluded, "if oral arguments have any impact on the final result, June's gonna be a nice time for a gay wedding."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
The Spanish cop, 20 million euros and 13 tonnes of cocaineIn the Spotlight Óscar Sánchez Gil, Chief Inspector of Spain's Economic and Tax Crimes Unit, has been arrested for drug trafficking
-
5 hilarious cartoons about the rise and fall of Matt GaetzCartoons Artists take on age brackets, backbiting, and more
-
The future of XTalking Point Trump's ascendancy is reviving the platform's coffers, whether or not a merger is on the cards
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproarSpeed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain PrizeSpeed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 winsspeed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughterspeed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
