Stephen Colbert didn't have a show on Friday, so it was four days before he was able to respond to Donald Trump's hands-size comment at last Thursday's GOP debate. "But I don't care, because this is what I do for a living," he said on Monday's Late Show, "and there's no way in hell I'm going to let an entire election go by without talking about" that amazing moment in presidential debate history. Colbert fumbled a "big tent" joke, but nailed the next one ostensibly giving Trump the benefit of the doubt on the size of his package: "Why would a man with a small penis put his name in giant letters on the top of a skyscraper?" (He poked fun at himself, too.)
Now that Trump has made "the size of [his] executive branch" a campaign issue, Colbert said, it's time for Trump to "release the long form. Or the short form — no judgment." Was he done? No. "All kidding aside, I am not putting any kidding aside," he said. "This is someone who could have finger on the button — and God, I hope it's his finger." And then Colbert made a Lincoln-Douglas debate joke, and took a step back: "I can't believe that these are absolutely legitimate jokes to be making about a presidential debate right now. Now, for those of you who have been following American democracy for the last 240 years, we have officially hit a new low in political discourse." And this probably isn't rock bottom, he sighed. "We still haven't hit 'onstage nut punch following by closing statement delivered via one long burp' — but it's only March." Watch below. Peter Weber
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