Speed Reads

Indiana Primary

Ted Cruz elbowed his wife in the head 3 times after announcing he's dropping out of the race

If you ever find yourself standing on a stage with Ted Cruz, run — don't walk — away as fast as you can for your own protection, lest you become the latest person to get hurt.

Over the weekend, Carly Fiorina ate it after introducing the one-time Republican presidential candidate, falling off the stage and disappearing into a sea of Cruz supporters. On Tuesday, after Cruz announced his decision to drop out of the race, he elbowed his wife Heidi not once, not twice, but three times in the head as he went to embrace his father. He then awkwardly pulled Heidi into their hug, and she buried her face into his arm, clearly in survival mode.

Now that Cruz is no longer running, the world is instantly a safer place for those who might have found themselves sharing a dais with him. Don't be surprised if Cruz, knowing of his curse, tries to make his way onstage with a certain former rival — Donald Trump, you've been warned.