"I'm going to start tonight with some shocking news," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "There's a huge scandal out there that does not involve Donald Trump." When "future former President Barack Obama" got Iran to release four American prisoners in January, he said, "it turns out he forgot to tell us about a small shipping and handling fee." A lot of people are saying the $400 million in cash sent to Iran as the prisoners were released "sounds like ransom, because they know what the word ransom means," Colbert said, but the Obama administration is calling the timing "coincidental." This looks bad for Obama, he said, "and I'm going to keep talking about this story or my name's not Stephen Colbert — and my Swiss bank account number isn't 160257."
Then Colbert moved on to, well, Trump. He acted out a one-man play to explain to Trump why America doesn't use nuclear weapons — "story had a sad ending" — and breezed through the controversies Trump has ignited this week alone. "He makes more gaffes than I can keep up with," Colbert said. "It's like I Love Lucy in the chocolate factory, except with Trump, the brown stuff ain't chocolate." He laughed off talk of a GOP "intervention" and the "wishful thinking" from GOP leaders that Trump will drop out, ending with a Say Anything joke and some bad news for people hoping the next president is a gorilla. Watch below. Peter Weber
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