Stephen Colbert rips Wells Fargo's CEO 'a new Stumpf-hole' over bank fraud


"Are there any fans of big banks tonight?" Stephen Colbert asked on Wednesday's Late Show. "All right," he said when the crowd remained silent, "then this is the story for you." The story was the massive fraud at Wells Fargo, where employees were pressured to open up to 2 million accounts without informing the customers. "That's right," Colbert said, "not even a customary form letter that said 'Congratulations! You are pre-approved to get totally screwed!'"
CEO John Stumpf "stepped up and took personal responsibility by firing 5,300 low-level employees he blamed for the problem," Colbert said with mock solemnity. "It takes true leadership to stand up and say the buck stops 5,300 other places." Stumpf made $200 million as his bank ruined thousands of credit ratings, he added, so "I think I speak for a lot of people when I say: Go Stumpf yourself." Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) essentially did that when she "dragged Stumpf in front of the Senate and tore him a new Stumpf-hole," Colbert said.
After ripping the CEO a Stumpf-hole of his own, Colbert rolled his eyes over the $41 million Stumpf will forfeit in stock and the ouster of retail banking head Carrie Tolstedt — months before her planned retirement — and said if you're worried about Stumpf and Tolstedt (nobody was), fear not: She will likely walk away with $77 million in stock options, and him, $200 million in cash. "That's how you teach white collar crime doesn't pay," Colbert said. "It's like when a cop catches a burglar in the act of robbing your house and says, 'Put down that TV, buddy, now here's $200 million.'" Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
August 2 editorial cartoons
Cartoons Saturday’s political cartoons include a tariff self-own, rough times at the Trump golf course, and more
-
5 inexcusably hilarious cartoons about Ghislaine Maxwell angling for a pardon
Cartoons Artists take on the circle of life, Ghislaine's Island, and more
-
Ozzy Osbourne obituary: heavy metal wildman and lovable reality TV dad
In the Spotlight For Osbourne, metal was 'not the music of hell but rather the music of Earth, not a fantasy but a survival guide'
-
Samsung to make Tesla chips in $16.5B deal
Speed Read Tesla has signed a deal to get its next-generation chips from Samsung
-
FCC greenlights $8B Paramount-Skydance merger
Speed Read The Federal Communications Commission will allow Paramount to merge with the Hollywood studio Skydance
-
Tesla reports plummeting profits
Speed Read The company may soon face more problems with the expiration of federal electric vehicle tax credits
-
Dollar faces historic slump as stocks hit new high
Speed Read While stocks have recovered post-Trump tariffs, the dollar has weakened more than 10% this year
-
Economists fear US inflation data less reliable
speed read The Labor Department is collecting less data for its consumer price index due to staffing shortages
-
Crypto firm Coinbase hacked, faces SEC scrutiny
Speed Read The Securities and Exchange Commission has also been investigating whether Coinbase misstated its user numbers in past disclosures
-
Starbucks baristas strike over dress code
speed read The new uniform 'puts the burden on baristas' to buy new clothes, said a Starbucks Workers United union delegate
-
Warren Buffet announces surprise retirement
speed read At the annual meeting of Berkshire Hathaway, the billionaire investor named Vice Chairman Greg Abel his replacement