Stephen Colbert noted on Tuesday's live Late Show that USA Today has, for the first time in its history, weighed in on a presidential race, saying in an editorial that Donald Trump is "unfit for the presidency" and explaining why. Colbert bungled the punchline — "Melissa, I want to thank you for being here for my last show," he joked to Melissa Etheridge, sitting in with the house band — then tried again: "If Trump wins, USA Today believes there's no USA tomorrow."
USA Today did not endorse Hillary Clinton — they just pleaded for voters not to pick Donald Trump — but Clinton has become the first Democrat ever endorsed by several Republican-friendly newspapers. "Meanwhile, Donald Trump has earned zero presidential endorsements from America's 50 biggest newspapers," Colbert said. "That is shocking — there are still 50 newspapers? But my crack research team did find one newspaper that has endorsed Donald Trump." Don't get too excited — it was the circular for the made-up Oinkily Boinkily supermarket in fictional Gangrene, Wisconsin. Paul F. Tompkins, playing the editor of the circular, used the occasion to promote a lot of food sales, and when Colbert asked him if he had endorsed Trump just to sell stuff, "Carl" explained why he didn't pick Clinton: "Well, I don't know. There's just something about a Trump presidency that makes people want to stock up on canned goods." That could have gone so many ways. Watch below. Peter Weber
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