Stephen Colbert pokes fun at Donald Trump's total lack of newspaper endorsements, with a little help


Stephen Colbert noted on Tuesday's live Late Show that USA Today has, for the first time in its history, weighed in on a presidential race, saying in an editorial that Donald Trump is "unfit for the presidency" and explaining why. Colbert bungled the punchline — "Melissa, I want to thank you for being here for my last show," he joked to Melissa Etheridge, sitting in with the house band — then tried again: "If Trump wins, USA Today believes there's no USA tomorrow."
USA Today did not endorse Hillary Clinton — they just pleaded for voters not to pick Donald Trump — but Clinton has become the first Democrat ever endorsed by several Republican-friendly newspapers. "Meanwhile, Donald Trump has earned zero presidential endorsements from America's 50 biggest newspapers," Colbert said. "That is shocking — there are still 50 newspapers? But my crack research team did find one newspaper that has endorsed Donald Trump." Don't get too excited — it was the circular for the made-up Oinkily Boinkily supermarket in fictional Gangrene, Wisconsin. Paul F. Tompkins, playing the editor of the circular, used the occasion to promote a lot of food sales, and when Colbert asked him if he had endorsed Trump just to sell stuff, "Carl" explained why he didn't pick Clinton: "Well, I don't know. There's just something about a Trump presidency that makes people want to stock up on canned goods." That could have gone so many ways. Watch below. Peter Weber
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclub
Speed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's ills
Speed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, Stallone
Speed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's view
Speed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talk
Speed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'
Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposes
speed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wife
speed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play