Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump and Russia

Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, and Trevor Noah have some laughs over Trump's Mueller grand jury news

Special Counsel Robert Mueller has impaneled a grand jury to consider potential criminal wrongdoing by President Trump or his associates tied to the wide-ranging Russian election-meddling investigation, The Wall Street Journal reported Thursday, and this bombshell was not missed on late night TV. "I'm going to say something right now nobody has ever said before: God, I wish I had jury duty!" Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "But really, how are they going to find unbiased people to serve on this jury? 'Ma'am, have you ever heard of a man by the name of Donald Trump?' 'No, father never mentioned him in our cave-dwelling cult.'"

This news "doesn't mean there's gonna be a trial, but it is a strong indication that something is going to happen," Colbert explained. "It's like picking up a blind date, and the first thing they say is, 'Hey, I need some condoms — can we swing by the store?'"

On Thursday's Daily Show, Trevor Noah had a little more context for Mueller's grand jury, and more jabs. "I just hope that if the police ever do arrest him, they protect his head when they put him into the car," he said. "You know what I just realized? If they find out that Trump did commit a crime, he's the one American who can't escape to Mexico."

But the Mueller grand jury news just capped off "a terrible day for Donald Trump," Noah said, starting with the leaked transcripts of his calls with the leaders of Mexico and Australia. He read some actual quotes, then spent the next seven minutes talking about police body cameras, and how they are uncovering evidence of evidence-planting and other police malfeasance.

On Late Night, Seth Meyers began his look at Trump's terrible day with a gawk at his terrible new poll numbers. Then he jokingly suggested that maybe Trump won't take the Mueller news all that hard, at least at first. "Trump's probably excited, because he thinks a grand jury is just a fancier jury. 'So beautiful, not like one of those dump juries.'" Meyers also pored through the leaked transcripts of Trump's calls, providing commentary and making special note about a comment Trump made about Meyers' home state: "New Hampshire has been hit hard by the opioid crisis, but still, don't call it a 'drug-infested den'! It's New England — it's a drug-infested inn." Watch below. Peter Weber