Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, and Seth Meyers don't believe Trump on his tax promises

Have you ever wondered, "What can I do, even in my own small way, to make rich people richer?" Stephen Colbert asked on Thursday's Late Show. No? "Then you did not write Donald Trump's tax plan." He pointed to an analysis that shows President Trump saving at least $31 million a year in taxes under his own plan. "Those are lotto numbers," he said. "I mean, that's not just Powerball, that's I'm In Powerball."

"Even though the GOP's tax plan is only going to benefit the wealthy few, they're pitching it to the everybody else," Colbert noted, highlighting a pitch from Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.), who is black. "It's not like Sen. Scott is the only Republican who could have delivered that message," #KeepYoMoney, he said. "They could have gone with the GOP's second-most-diverse senator, Caucasian Q. Whitington III, but they already have him promoting the bill's original hashtag, #RetainThyEstate."

Still, pivoting to taxes must be a relief for Republicans, Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "Republicans are like that jock at school who's bad at every subject but kills it at P.E." Trump sold his plan as a "middle-class miracle," and Noah feigned surprise that it isn't: "What? This whole plan is a cash-cow for Trump? I'm starting to wonder if the only reason he ran for president was to lower his own taxes?" If so, he added, "first it'll have to get though Congress — which, at this stage, would be a miracle, believe me."

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At Late Night, Seth Meyers laughed at one Trump promise in particular: "The only way he was raising taxes on the rich was if he could pick which rich people. 'Rosie, she's going to get her taxes raised; Meryl Streep's gotta start paying her fair share, everyone in the NBA except for the tall white guys ...'" Peter Weber