Stephen Colbert catches up with Trump's mounting sex scandals

"This morning, the White House was able to get a break from the scandals of today with a scandal from 10 years ago," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show, recapping the Washington Post profile of Rachel Crooks, who said President Trump forced an unwanted kiss on her in Trump Tower. "Of course, the president was far too consumed with today's domestic crises to notice this," Colbert began, quickly abandoning the joke to read Trump's odd tweeted denial.

"We're also hearing more about the women who actually consented to let Trump kiss them," Colbert said, pointing to the alleged affair Trump had with former Playboy model Karen McDougal. "No surprise — in her centerfold, her turn-ons included rampant corruption, thin-skinned egomaniacs, and one wide yellow hair piled atop a deflated basketball," he joked. McDougal sold her story to the National Enquirer before the election, then buried it until The New Yorker published McDougal's handwritten notes about the affair. "Welcome to Trump's America, where if the story is too steamy and trashy for the National Enquirer, you'll find it in The New Yorker," Colbert marveled.

He read some of McDougal's recollections. "Yes, Trump lets his mistresses know right up front that he's willing to pay — that's why he has a sign in his hotel room, 'We Validate Porking,'" Colbert quipped, throwing in several more off-color jokes, and an aside about Mr. T, as he walked through the details of the purported affair — and its dates. "How dare you, sir! Cheating on Stormy Daniels?" Colbert fake-huffed. "Do you not respect the sanctity of the billionaire-porn star relationship? You just go ahead and three-time the person you're two-timing with?"

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"Bill Clinton would blush at how easily Trump seems to duck consequences" of his "slow-moving sex scandal," including "porn stars, hush money, caught-on-tape crudeness, and tawdry tabloids," Mike Allen said at Axios, but with Daniels and McDougal promising to talk, it may speed up soon.