Tuesday's Late Show kicked off with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's new peace overtures being derailed by The Bachelor.
According to South Korea, "North Korea is willing to talk to the U.S. about giving up its nuclear weapons — and not the usual way they talk about giving up their nuclear weapons, by dropping them on Seattle," Colbert explained. If the U.S. and North Korea normalize relations, "then Kim Jong Un and Trump can sit down and talk about the things they have in common, like military parades and ridiculous haircuts."
He returned to Monday night's meltdown of President Trump's former campaign aide, Sam Nunberg, who just might have been drunk. "I don't know what's more disturbing, him going on the news drunk or me having to watch the news sober," said Colbert, who gave up alcohol for Lent.
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Colbert turned from nuclear war to Trump's trade war, which has already prompted an EU threat of retaliatory tariffs on bourbon, blue jeans, and Harleys, striking "a real blow to America's midlife crisis industry," he said. "All that's left is electric guitars and 25-year-old yoga teachers named Dawn." Trump tweeted that trade wars are "easy to win," and Colbert ran with that in his Trump voice: "Yeah, wars are easy to win. The war starts, you get your dad to get you five draft deferments, the war ends, so easy."
Colbert ended with a look at the war for the Trump International Hotel in Panama City. "Trump's brand is bad for business and his name is all over this hotel," he summarized, noting all the Trump-branded drinks with the glaring exception of "a Piña Collude-a?" After a Panamanian court ruled that Trump's business had to vacate the hotel, Colbert said, the majority owner "got to experience one of the most satisfying things I've ever seen: Trump's name being removed from the building with a crowbar." Watch below. Peter Weber
