Speed Reads

last night on late night

Stephen Colbert wants to know why Israel's Netanyahu is hyping old news about Iran ahead of Trump's big nuclear deal decision

President Trump has until May 12 to decide if he will unilaterally pull the U.S. out of the Iran nuclear deal, and he's being coy about his intentions, Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. "People on both sides are trying to sway the president," and yesterday it was the turn of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Netanyahu went on Israeli TV to talk to Trump, saying he had proof that Iran lied about its nuclear program and showing off a shelf of books and a rack of CDs Israeli intelligence stole from Iran. "Come on, Bibi, throw in a jet ski or something," Colbert suggested, unimpressed.

"But here's the thing: None of this is new information," Colbert said. "He did a big blockbuster reveal of information from 2003. I assume he also blew the lid off Finding Nemo and the shocking report that Limp Bizkit rulez." The White House even said it had already long known about the information, but it had to correct a crucial verb tense from Iran "has" a secret nuclear weapons program to "had." "Oh, that's kind of different," he said. "Like the difference between 'has chlamydia' and 'had chlamydia' — something to be careful about when you're typing up your Tinder profile."

He ended his monologue by noting that, according to Trump's Twitter posts, everything is runny super smoothly in the White House, and singing a version of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" modified to reflect Trump's onerous schedule.

To highlight that Netanyahu was really speaking to an audience of one about Iran's defunct nuclear weapons program, The Late Show slightly amended his PowerPoint presentation. Watch below. Peter Weber