"Hey you guys, remember the midterms?" Stephen Colbert asked on Tuesday's Late Show. "Well, guess what? The fun's not over, because there is a huge scandal brewing in North Carolina." The state elections board has refused the certify the race in North Carolina's 9th Congressional District, where Republican Mark Harris currently has a 905-vote lead, because of evidence that hundreds of absentee ballots may have been tampered with or destroyed to help the GOP candidate.
There are several red flags, including the large number of absentee ballots requested but not returned — "That never happens," Colbert said. "That's like paying to go to the movies and then not watching the movie" — and sworn affidavits from voters who say people came to their door and illegally collected their absentee ballots, "like Jehovah's I-hope-there-aren't-witnesses," Colbert explained. He introduced the apparent mastermind behind this "throw out the vote" effort, Leslie McCrae Dowless, noting his hiring by the Harris campaign and 1990s convictions for felony perjury and election fraud. "Look, a man like that should not be working for a congressional candidate — he should be a congressional candidate," Colbert joked.
Colbert breezed through a bunch of lighter news, including Netflix's toying with continuing to stream Friends — "Will they or won't they? This is the Ross and Rachel of me finding out what happens to Ross and Rachel!" — Tumblr banning porn, and the man who shot himself in the genitalia inside an Arizona Walmart, before he briefly returned to election fraud. "Meanwhile, an American institution is under attack, voting — but also french fries, because a Harvard professor is suggesting a healthy portion or fries contains only six," he said. "Six? Are you kidding? In most restaurants, the average serving size is haystack." He had a solution. Watch below. Peter Weber
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