Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump's wall

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah mock Trump's mixed message on the wall, 'misquoted' intelligence chiefs

"The nation's gripped with cold right now, but despite that, you know who's all hot and bothered? Donald Trump," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "The president's intelligence chiefs publicly contradicted him Tuesday," so at the White House on Thursday, Trump first told reporters that he would probably be proved right, Colbert said, then "later this afternoon, Trump explained that what the intelligence chiefs said to Congress wasn't actually what they said to Congress."

"What do you mean they were 'misquoted'?" Colbert asked Trump, rhetorically. "There were cameras. It was live. We all watched it." He helpfully juxtaposed the intelligence chiefs' comments with Trump's assertions, for context. "Now, after reviewing all that, some would say that Donald Trump is denying reality at a level that is clinically insane," Colbert said. "Others would say that, too."

Trump also talked about his wall, confusingly. "So, he's going to shut down the government unless he gets the wall we already have," Colbert paraphrased. He found more to like in Trump's tweet about calling the wall the wall: "Yes, thank you, let's stop playing these political games. Who was that jerk who kept insisting on not calling the wall the wall?" You probably know the answer, but Trump suggesting we call the wall a peach was too much for Colbert — until he envisioned it as Trump's new slogan: "We're going to build a giant peach, and James is going to pay for it. Build the peach! Build the peach!"

At The Daily Show, Trevor Noah agreed about mocking Trump's attacks on other politicians for not saying "wall," but he drew the line at "peaches." "If the wall is called 'peaches,' then I think we should build a wall," he joked. "Because Peaches the Border Wall is the most adorable thing I have ever heard. ... Like, I bet if you call the border wall Peaches, even drug smugglers wouldn't want to breach that wall." Watch that imagined conversation below. Peter Weber