Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, and Seth Meyers whale on Trump's pro-collusion confession

"Every night I stand here and I make jokes about all of Donald Trump's lies," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "It turns out, it's even worse if he tells the truth." Trump told George Stephanopoulos he would accept dirt on Democrats from foreign governments like Russia and China, and when Stephanopoulos "gave Trump an opportunity to not publicly betray our democracy," he doubled down, Colbert said. "We know you'd take it! You took it. The question is, why are you admitting it?" Trump's confession is so "stupid," he explained, because after two years of screaming "no collusion," he just told a national TV audience that of course he would collude. Colbert also debuted his impressive Prince of Whales impression and cursed Trump for making him agree with Fox & Friends' Brian Kilmeade.

"Apparently, foreign dirt is the only import he won't put tariffs on," Trevor Noah joked at The Daily Show. It isn't surprising that Trump would solicit dirt from hostile powers in 2020 since "he never faced any real consequences for 2016," he added, but "even Trump's loyal subjects are calling him out" on this one.

After laughing at Trump's "Prince of Whales" tweet, Noah said "typos are the least of America's problems right now, because the president of the United States has basically invited foreign governments to interfere in America's election if it'll help him win. And that can be a really dangerous thing that could get him and America into big trouble." Roy Wood Jr. had a PSA.

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Yes, "the guy who has spent two years scream-tweeting 'no collusion!' is now saying if anyone's down to collude, I'm your guy," Seth Meyers sighed on Late Night. "If Trump had been president during Watergate, he would have left a business card at the break-in." Seriously, "why are we not just treating this as a confession? Just because he's phrasing it as a hypothetical doesn't make it any less damning," he added. And "this is not a random hypothetical. ... In fact at this point, I think the Russians are the only ones who haven't tuned out Donald Trump."

Well, not the only ones... Peter Weber