Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah rehash Trump's Orlando rally: Exact same lines and crowd-size lies

"Usually, a re-election campaign offers new ideas, new policies to move the country forward," Trevor Noah said on Wednesday's Daily Show, but President Trump's Tuesday night speech "felt like an exact replica of him running in 2016 — and when I say an exact replica, I mean exact." Here's what he means:

To be fair, Trump did test out a new slogan for 2020:

Yes, "last night Trump was in Orlando, Florida, to officially relaunch the campaign he has never stopped," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "For those of you that are hoping that now that he's president, his tone would change, last night was a swift kick in the old hopey-changey." He played some highlights, interspersed with jokes and commentary. "You know, for all his bad environmental policies, Trump is very committed to recycling his garbage," he said. "Trump did make one new campaign promise, and it's a biggie" — but Joe Biden claimed it first.

"In the runup to this thing, Trump and his folks kept saying that this thing was oversold, something like 100,000 tickets — or 120,000, something like that — for only 25,000 seats in the arena," Colbert said. "That's why they said they had to have that '45 Fest' out in the parking lot, for the overflow crowd of 75,000 people who couldn't get in. That is impressive! That is also a lie."

Colbert showed Late Show footage of the "overflow crowd" outside the arena. And "it's no one — just garbage and abandoned yard furniture," he said. "But maybe that crowd went home, without any of their chairs, because they couldn't get into that sold-out arena? Again, no, because our team got their press credentials denied at the last minute — and this is true — so they just went online and got tickets and walked in ... to take any one of the many, many empty seats in the arena." He ended with the ugly opening prayer and a cameo. Watch below. Peter Weber