President Trump held a big re-election rally in Orlando, Florida, on Tuesday night, and for those Trump super fans unable to get into the venue, The Late Show explained the consolation prize:
Trump's "supporters started lining up nearly two full days before the event — apparently he hasn't brought all of America's jobs back, considering this is a Tuesday," Stephen Colbert said in his monologue. Trump tweeted about the pre-rally enthusiasm, with only a touch of vainglory. "He sees himself as a rock star!" Colbert said, combing his Trump voice with a Billy Idol classic: "You know, 'It's a nice day for a white rally.'" The actual band that played to warm up Trump's "45 Fest" crowd was called The Guzzlers, and Colbert gave them a bit of free publicity.
"Trump's rally tonight has added urgency because everyone's talking about how bad his poll numbers are — even Fox News' Bret Baier," Colbert said. "Ouch. Fox News, you pledged to be there for him for better or worse. You keep this up, he's going to leave you for a younger network. ... And Trump was watching Bret," tweeting that "polls are always bad for me," "More Fake News @BretBaier," and there's "something weird going on at Fox." Colbert agreed: "Something weird going on at Fox. They've started reporting — and I hope I'm pronouncing this right — the truth?"
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At The Daily Show, Trevor Noah offered some thoughtful advice to Democrats hoping to be the target of the kind of insults Trump hurled during his actual Orlando rally: Don't try to roast Trump, because that's his game and he excels at it; focus on policy, because nothing intrigues swing voters more and deflates Trump quicker. Watch below. Peter Weber
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