Stephen Colbert tries to decipher Trump's self-congratulatory 'goth poetry' on abandoning the Kurds


The Late Show appears to believe that President Trump's impeachment defense is going off the rails.
But Stephen Colbert was almost impressed with Trump's optimism, or something. "You've got to hand it to the guy: He is willing to call his most disastrous blunders his greatest victories," he said in Wednesday's monologue. "Case in point, Trump's complete betrayal of our Kurdish allies after his phone call with Turkish President Erdogan." Trump's decision was "despised on both sides of the aisle," but it was a big win for "his buddy Vladimir Putin, who yesterday met with Erdogan to carve up Syria like a Christmas shawarma," he said. "So naturally, this morning Trump gave a self-congratulatory speech from the White House and claimed others were congratulating him, too."
"Yes, a lot of people are saying 'Wow, what a great outcome, congratulations' — specifically, Erdogan and Putin; they keep saying it to each other," Colbert said. "Trump made one thing clear: This was our fake victory, and we're not sharing," but his definition of the "safe zone" he claimed to have carved out for the Kurds was more ambiguous. "Maybe we should call it the 'danger zone,'" he suggested. "I hear there's a highway that goes straight to that."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"Trump spoke about his decision to abandon American allies like a goth poetry teen," Colbert said. "Fun fact: 'Blood-stained sand,' also the paint swatch they used for Trump's face." And "the president assured the public that ISIS prisoners have been contained, y'know, ish," he added. "Hold on, a few got out? Then they aren't under 'strict lock and key.' I wouldn't send my toddler to a daycare that advertises: 'Children are safe under lock and key. A few got out, but a very small number, relatively speaking.'" Watch below. Peter Weber
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
How medical imposters are ruining health studies
Under the Radar Automated bots and ‘lying’ individuals ‘threaten’ patient safety and integrity of research
-
‘How can I know these words originated in their heart and not some data center in northern Virginia?’
instant opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
Can Trump deliver a farmer bailout in time?
Today's Big Question Planting decisions and food prices hang in the balance
-
Hungary’s Krasznahorkai wins Nobel for literature
Speed Read László Krasznahorkai is the author of acclaimed novels like ‘The Melancholy of Resistance’ and ‘Satantango’
-
Primatologist Jane Goodall dies at 91
Speed Read She rose to fame following her groundbreaking field research with chimpanzees
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclub
Speed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's ills
Speed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, Stallone
Speed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's view
Speed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talk
Speed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'
Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year