"Well, here we are: President Trump has been impeached," Seth Meyers said on Wednesday's Late Night. Before the House approved the two articles of impeachment, lawmakers spent hours debating them, he said, and there was quite a contrast between the "pro-impeachment speeches" and "the whiny rambling of the Republicans" competing "to see who could be more sycophantic toward Trump."
In a "truly deranged six-page letter" to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Tuesday, "Trump compared impeachment to the Salem Witch Trials," Meyers said, but on Wednesday, Rep. Barry Loudermilk (R-Ga.) was actually "deranged enough to compare Trump to Jesus. ... These people are out of their minds. Soon they're going to start claiming they saw images of Trump appear in their food." Finally, "a GOP congressman literally asked for a moment of silence for the people who voted for Trump," he sighed. "All right, if the 63 million who voted for Trump get a moment of silence, can we also have a moment for the 66 million who voted against him to go 'What the f--k?'"
The Late Show's Stephen Colbert was also vexed by Loudermilk's analogy: "Really? You're going to compare Donald Trump to Jesus Christ? May I remind you, Jesus never had to cut a check to keep Mary Magdalene quiet." Predictably, "Trump is reacting to the impeachment news with his usual calm and measured ranting," he said, even sending his "angry six-page screed" to every member of Congress in a giant Christmas card "the size of a Cheesecake Factory menu — which makes sense, since both feature an orange chicken."
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"As upset as Trump sounds, his Republican minions in the House seemed even more angry," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "Did these guys just compare impeachment to Pearl Harbor and what happened to Jesus? Did they just Google 'bad things' then click 'I'm Feeling Lucky'?"
"House Republicans spent the whole day being huge drama queens about impeachment," but "that doesn't mean that Democrats were gloating," Noah said. "All day the Democrats were roaming the halls of Congress sad and depressed, just walking around like living Adele albums" — though, he told correspondent Michael Kosta, "it feels like Democrats are acting sad, but then deep down they're actually happy about this."
"We should all take a moment to feel excited that Trump is finally facing a consequence!" Samantha Bee said at Full Frontal. "Okay, moment's over. ... When the New Year starts, this whole process is going to get even uglier," Trump will be acquitted, and "it might even feel like impeaching Trump was pointless — but it's not," she said. "In a world where old, rich white dudes seem to increasingly operated with impunity, today Trump faces the tiniest bit of punity, and that is magic." Watch below. Peter Weber
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