"The case against tickling is a strong one," writes Jenny Marder at NYT Parenting. Just because kids are laughing when being tickled doesn't mean they enjoy it. In fact, reflexive laughter can disguise discomfort, says Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., author of the book Playful Parenting. So what are the rules?
Carers should be "extremely attentive" to their children's cues, because "when we tickle children without their buy-in, we're teaching them that it's okay to be touched and to touch others in ways they don't like," Marder says. If their face turns from a smile to a grimace, it's likely the tickling is unwanted and it's time to stop. Consider other activities, like pillow fights or wrestling. But remember: "If one person is stronger and more confident, and they're the ones always in control, then you're crossing the line from healthy roughhousing to overpowering," says Cohen.
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