Why parents should think twice about tickling their kids

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published 21 July 2020

"The case against tickling is a strong one," writes Jenny Marder at NYT Parenting. Just because kids are laughing when being tickled doesn't mean they enjoy it. In fact, reflexive laughter can disguise discomfort, says Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., author of the book Playful Parenting. So what are the rules?

Carers should be "extremely attentive" to their children's cues, because "when we tickle children without their buy-in, we're teaching them that it's okay to be touched and to touch others in ways they don't like," Marder says. If their face turns from a smile to a grimace, it's likely the tickling is unwanted and it's time to stop. Consider other activities, like pillow fights or wrestling. But remember: "If one person is stronger and more confident, and they're the ones always in control, then you're crossing the line from healthy roughhousing to overpowering," says Cohen.

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Jessica Hullinger is a writer and former deputy editor of The Week Digital. Originally from the American Midwest, she completed a degree in journalism at Indiana University Bloomington before relocating to New York City, where she pursued a career in media. After joining The Week as an intern in 2010, she served as the title’s audience development manager, senior editor and deputy editor, as well as a regular guest on “The Week Unwrapped” podcast. Her writing has featured in other publications including Popular Science, Fast Company, Fortune, and Self magazine, and she loves covering science and climate-related issues.