"On Wednesday, Joe Biden will be inaugurated as the 46th president of the United States," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, crossing both fingers, "but after the sacking of the U.S. Capitol, authorities have called in 25,000 National Guard troops. So officially, this is not a peaceful transfer of power." In new footage of the violent Jan. 6 assault on the Capitol, "we see the MAGA mob on the Senate floor rifling through documents," but the video mostly proves "these fellows aren't exactly the sharpest horns on the headdress," Colbert said. "These are the dumbest people to attempt an insurrection since the failed Lincoln assassin John Wilkes Doof."
"On his last full day in office, the president is prepared to issue around 100 pardons and commutations," Colbert said. "Why so many? Well, there's reportedly a lucrative market for pardons. Finally, POTUS is running a business that makes money. He's calling it the Olive Pardon."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
5 hilariously spirited cartoons about the spirit of ChristmasCartoons Artists take on excuses, pardons, and more
-
Inside the house of AssadThe Explainer Bashar al-Assad and his father, Hafez, ruled Syria for more than half a century but how did one family achieve and maintain power?
-
Sudoku medium: December 22, 2024The Week's daily medium sudoku puzzle
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talksSpeed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tourSpeed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamationSpeed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box officeSpeed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproarSpeed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
