"You guys remember that weird election audit that the Republican-controlled Senate of Arizona hired some Stop-the-Steal folks to do in Maricopa County?" Stephen Colbert asked on Monday's Late Show. "Well, we finally got the results, and the Republican-led audit reaffirmed Joe Biden's win." In fact, he said, "this audit is a crushing humiliation for the GOP, because not only was Biden found to be the winner again, but the search for fraudulent ballots actually yielded 99 additional votes for Biden and 261 fewer votes for the former president. Wow —wow! He really did get tired of winning."
Even with "MAGA fans" running the audit, Donald Trump lost ground, Colbert said. "That's like hiring your mom to judge the 'handsomest boy' contest — and still losing to a 78-year-old guy from Delaware." He showed Biden getting a COVID-19 booster shot on live TV Monday and quipped, "That is the first prick I've seen in the White House since January."
"When they offered Biden a booster, he said 'I'll take one in my arm and another for my approval rating,'" Jimmy Fallon joked on The Tonight Show. Meanwhile, Pfizer's CEO predicted Monday that "by this time next year, Americans can go back to normal activities, like storming Area 51 and eating Tide Pods."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"I never thought I'd say this," but between the horse dewormer and huffing hydrogen peroxide, "I miss the old days when we were eating Tide Pods, for no health benefits whatsoever," Jimmy Kimmel sighed on Kimmel Live. His big takeaway from Biden's televised booster shot was "how hairy this man is."
In Arizona, "Trump lost the election he thought was rigged against him and then lost the audit of the election he thought was rigged for him, so now, in a desperate attempt to do as much damage to democracy as he possibly can, Trump is pushing for audits even in states he won," Colbert said. "Wouldn't it be hilarious if it turns out he lost Texas, too?"
The Arizona GOP's Cyber Ninjas "audit" really "blew up in their faces," Late Night's Seth Meyers said, but "maybe Trump and the GOP will just have to keep bringing in crazier right-wing groups with dumber and dumber names until they get the results they want." He also took a closer look at Rudy Giuliani's reported ban from Fox News, probably for similar reasons. Watch below.
-
October 13 editorial cartoonsCartoons Monday's political cartoons include Donald Trump's consolation prize, government workers during shutdown, and more
-
Can Gaza momentum help end the war in Ukraine?Today's Big Question Zelenskyy’s request for long-range Tomahawk missiles hints at ‘warming relations’ between Ukraine and US
-
The Israeli hostages and Palestinian prisoners being releasedThe Explainer Triumphant Donald Trump addresses the Israeli parliament as families on both sides of the Gaza war reunite with their loved ones
-
Israel, Hamas agree to first step of Trump peace planSpeed Read Israel’s military pulls back in Gaza amid prisoner exchange
-
Israel intercepts 2nd Gaza aid flotilla in a weekSpeed Read The Israeli military intercepted a flotilla of nine boats with 145 activists aboard along with medical and food aid
-
Japan poised to get first woman prime ministerSpeed Read The ruling Liberal Democratic Party elected former Economic Security Minister Sanae Takaichi
-
Israel and Hamas meet on hostages, Trump’s planSpeed Read Hamas accepted the general terms of Trump’s 20-point plan, including the release of all remaining hostages
-
US tipped to help Kyiv strike Russian energy sitesSpeed Read Trump has approved providing Ukraine with intelligence for missile strikes on Russian energy infrastructure
-
Netanyahu agrees to Trump’s new Gaza peace planSpeed Read At President Trump's meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, they agreed upon a plan to end Israel’s war in Gaza
-
Russia is ‘helping China’ prepare for an invasion of TaiwanIn the Spotlight Russia is reportedly allowing China access to military training
-
Moldova gives decisive win to pro-EU partySpeed Read The country is now on track to join the European Union within five years
