The Ukrainian military has claimed credit for sinking Russia's Black Sea flagship, the missile cruiser Moskva, with a pair of anti-ship Neptune missiles, Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "I'm surprised they're called Neptune missiles, because Russia, Ukraine's kicking Uranus." Russia at first "downplayed the damage to the vessel," but eventually state media confirmed that it had sunk, he noted. "Of course, since it's Russian state media, they had to spin it as a positive," and Colbert suggested a cover story involving SpongeBob SquarePants.
A week ago, Elon Musk became Twitter's largest individual shareholder after buying $2.89 billion worth of the company. "Okay, did no one tell him you can read the tweets for free?" Colbert joked. "But that stock purchase wasn't enough for the Musk man, because last night Musk offered to buy Twitter for $43 billion in cash." Musk says "his goal is to make Twitter 'the platform for free speech around the globe,'" he noted. "Hey you ding-a-ling, Twitter's already a international platform for free speech. You know how I know that? Because no one at Twitter can stop me from tweeting 'Suck it, Elon Musk' in every language."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
'The disconnect between actual health care and the insurance model is widening'Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
Cautious optimism surrounds plans for the world's first nuclear fusion power plantTalking Point Some in the industry feel that the plant will face many challenges
-
Explore new worlds this winter at these 6 enlightening museum exhibitionsThe Week Recommends Discover the estrados of Spain and the connection between art and chess in various African countries
-
Top Russian general killed in Moscow blastSpeed Read A remote-triggered bomb killed Lt. Gen. Igor Kirillov, the head of Russia's Nuclear, Biological and Chemical Defense
-
Why Assad fell so fastThe Explainer The newly liberated Syria is in an incredibly precarious position, but it's too soon to succumb to defeatist gloom
-
NATO chief urges Europe to arm against RussiaSpeed Read Mark Rutte said Putin wants to 'wipe Ukraine off the map' and might come for other parts of Europe next
-
New Syria government takes charge, urging 'stability'Speed Read The rebel forces that ousted Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad announced an interim government
-
Romania's election rerunThe Explainer Shock result of presidential election has been annulled following allegations of Russian interference
-
Russia's shadow war in EuropeTalking Point Steering clear of open conflict, Moscow is slowly ratcheting up the pressure on Nato rivals to see what it can get away with.
-
South Korea roiled by short-lived martial lawSpeed Read President Yoon Suk Yeol's imposition of martial law was a 'clear violation of the constitution,' said the opposition parties who have moved to impeach him
-
Syrian rebels seize Aleppo in surprise offensiveSpeed Read The rebels made gains against President Bashar al-Assad’s forces and reignited Syria's 13-year-old civil war
