Late night hosts cheer Russia's sunk battleship, jeer the suggestion Hitler is an inspiring role model

The Ukrainian military has claimed credit for sinking Russia's Black Sea flagship, the missile cruiser Moskva, with a pair of anti-ship Neptune missiles, Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "I'm surprised they're called Neptune missiles, because Russia, Ukraine's kicking Uranus." Russia at first "downplayed the damage to the vessel," but eventually state media confirmed that it had sunk, he noted. "Of course, since it's Russian state media, they had to spin it as a positive," and Colbert suggested a cover story involving SpongeBob SquarePants.
A week ago, Elon Musk became Twitter's largest individual shareholder after buying $2.89 billion worth of the company. "Okay, did no one tell him you can read the tweets for free?" Colbert joked. "But that stock purchase wasn't enough for the Musk man, because last night Musk offered to buy Twitter for $43 billion in cash." Musk says "his goal is to make Twitter 'the platform for free speech around the globe,'" he noted. "Hey you ding-a-ling, Twitter's already a international platform for free speech. You know how I know that? Because no one at Twitter can stop me from tweeting 'Suck it, Elon Musk' in every language."

Yes, "Elon Musk is attempting a hostile takeover of Twitter," but "because Elon Musk is Elon Musk, he didn't just make a normal offer — no, he offered to pay $54.20 per share," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "And that's how you know that you're too rich: When you're spending an extra few million dollars just to slip a weed joke in to your takeover bid."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"In Tennessee, yesterday, the state Senate passed a bill that would make it a crime to sleep under bridges," and while that's a pretty typical (if not super helpful) response to homelessness in the U.S., people are talking about this bill "because of this really inspirational story that one Republican told during the debate," Noah deadpanned. Homeless people can be as successful as Hitler is a "very interesting angle to take." Also, "who even knew that Hitler was homeless?" he added. "I don't know about you, but it creeps me out when people know too much about Hitler's life."

"Wow, you really Hitler'ed that one out of the park," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. But after looking it up, "it's actually true: Hitler was homeless for a while. He lived on the street and ate at soup kitchens — he was the original soup Nazi."

Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
India strikes Pakistan as tensions mount in Kashmir
speed read Pakistan's Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif called it an 'act of war'
-
Israel approves plan to take over Gaza indefinitely
speed read Benjamin Netanyahu says the country is 'on the eve of a forceful entry'
-
Putin talks nukes as Kyiv slated for US air defenses
speed read 'I hope they will not be required,' Putin said of nuclear weapons on Russian state TV
-
US, Ukraine sign joint minerals deal
speed read The Trump administration signed a deal with Ukraine giving the US access to its mineral wealth
-
What happens if tensions between India and Pakistan boil over?
TODAY'S BIG QUESTION As the two nuclear-armed neighbors rattle their sabers in the wake of a terrorist attack on the contested Kashmir region, experts worry that the worst might be yet to come
-
Israel launches air strike on Beirut suburbs
Speed Read The attack targeting Hezbollah was Israel's third on the Lebanese capital since November's ceasefire
-
Dozens dead in Kashmir as terrorists target tourists
Speed Read Visitors were taking pictures and riding ponies in a popular mountain town when assailants open fired, killing at least 26
-
Israel blames 'failures' for killing of medics
speed read 14 Gaza medics and 1 U.N. employee were killed by IDF special forces