Late night hosts cheer Russia's sunk battleship, jeer the suggestion Hitler is an inspiring role model
The Ukrainian military has claimed credit for sinking Russia's Black Sea flagship, the missile cruiser Moskva, with a pair of anti-ship Neptune missiles, Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "I'm surprised they're called Neptune missiles, because Russia, Ukraine's kicking Uranus." Russia at first "downplayed the damage to the vessel," but eventually state media confirmed that it had sunk, he noted. "Of course, since it's Russian state media, they had to spin it as a positive," and Colbert suggested a cover story involving SpongeBob SquarePants.
A week ago, Elon Musk became Twitter's largest individual shareholder after buying $2.89 billion worth of the company. "Okay, did no one tell him you can read the tweets for free?" Colbert joked. "But that stock purchase wasn't enough for the Musk man, because last night Musk offered to buy Twitter for $43 billion in cash." Musk says "his goal is to make Twitter 'the platform for free speech around the globe,'" he noted. "Hey you ding-a-ling, Twitter's already a international platform for free speech. You know how I know that? Because no one at Twitter can stop me from tweeting 'Suck it, Elon Musk' in every language."
Yes, "Elon Musk is attempting a hostile takeover of Twitter," but "because Elon Musk is Elon Musk, he didn't just make a normal offer — no, he offered to pay $54.20 per share," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "And that's how you know that you're too rich: When you're spending an extra few million dollars just to slip a weed joke in to your takeover bid."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"In Tennessee, yesterday, the state Senate passed a bill that would make it a crime to sleep under bridges," and while that's a pretty typical (if not super helpful) response to homelessness in the U.S., people are talking about this bill "because of this really inspirational story that one Republican told during the debate," Noah deadpanned. Homeless people can be as successful as Hitler is a "very interesting angle to take." Also, "who even knew that Hitler was homeless?" he added. "I don't know about you, but it creeps me out when people know too much about Hitler's life."
"Wow, you really Hitler'ed that one out of the park," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. But after looking it up, "it's actually true: Hitler was homeless for a while. He lived on the street and ate at soup kitchens — he was the original soup Nazi."
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
'The House under GOP rule has become a hostile workplace'
Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
By Harold Maass, The Week US Published
-
The Shohei Ohtani gambling scandal is about more than bad bets
In The Spotlight The firestorm surrounding one of baseball's biggest stars threatens to upend a generational legacy and professional sports at large
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Feds raid Diddy homes in alleged sex trafficking case
Speed Read Homeland Security raided the properties of hip hop mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Trump gets $289M break, first criminal trial date
Speed Read The former president's fraud bond has been reduced to $175 million from $464 million
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
US-Israel rift widens after UN cease-fire resolution
Speed Read The U.S. declined to veto a U.N. resolution calling for a two-week "immediate cease-fire" in Gaza
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
New Jersey first lady exits race to replace Menendez
Speed Read Tammy Murphy dropping out paves the way for Rep. Andy Kim to become the state's next senator
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Russia blames Ukraine for deadly ISIS Moscow attack
Speed Read Putin has ignored the Islamic State's claim of responsibility for the concert hall shooting
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Trump-RNC pact puts Trump legal bills ahead of GOP
Speed Read The former president has struck a deal with the Republican National Committee to put donations toward his legal bills
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Will Aukus pact survive a second Trump presidency?
Today's Big Question US, UK and Australia seek to expand 'game-changer' defence partnership ahead of Republican's possible return to White House
By Sorcha Bradley, The Week UK Published
-
Vietnam president resigns amid scandal
Speed Read Vietnam loses its second president in two years as Vo Van Thuong steps down
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Texas migrant law in limbo after Supreme Court OK
Speed Read The law has been blocked again, mere hours after the Supreme Court allowed the state to arrest migrants
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published