Good week for:

Finding Obama under the tree, after gift shops in Washington, D.C., began selling a dozen different Barack Obama items, including T-shirts, action figures, dolls, coffee mugs, and a jack-in-the-box who springs out with a big Obama smile.

Unlimited minutes, after American Funeral Director magazine reported a new trend: people being buried with their cell phones. “I’ve seen people leave cell phones on and tell me they’re going to call their loved one later,” said Pam Vetter. “Not that anyone will answer, but they want to have that connection.”

Revenge, after Internet security analysts warned that legions
of laid-off IT workers would likely turn to cybercrime to pay their bills.

Bad week for:

Taking a personal day, after a Buffalo man told police that his boss and another man kicked down his door, dragged him out of the house, and drove him to the restaurant where he works and ordered him to clean a Dumpster. The boss did, however, then give the employee a paycheck.

Perspective, after a Catholic cardinal in Chile denounced Madonna’s “incredibly shameful behavior” at a concert in Santiago and called her “an offense to God.” Cardinal Jorge Medina made the remarks at a Mass for the late dictator Augusto Pinochet, under whose rule tens of thousands of political opponents were executed, tortured, or “disappeared.”

Couch potatoes, after a Cleveland Browns fan was ticketed for driving a motorized sofa to a game. Police said the sofa was unregistered and had expired plates.