Good week for:
Plants, after the Swiss parliament passed legislation affirming the dignity of all vegetation and decrying such activities as “the decapitation of wildflowers at the roadside without rational reason.”
Honest fundraising pitches, after Framingham State College in Massachusetts sent alumni a letter asking for “your support,” and gave the following rationale: “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah … .” Nearly 40 tickled alumni responded with a donation.
Sabotage, after gaffe-prone Joe Biden predicted that there would be an international crisis within the first six months of a Barack Obama presidency, with foreign leaders seeking “to test the mettle of this guy.”
Bad week for:
Shopping in “real” America, with the news that the Republican National Committee has spent more than $150,000 to clothe and accessorize vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her family over the past two months. Palin spent $49,400 on two shopping trips to Saks Fifth Avenue, in St. Louis and New York, and $75,000 on a spree at Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis.
Sobriety, after the authors of the U.K.’s Good Beer Guide created a program that allows automobile GPS devices to hunt down the best pubs.
Edna Jester of Blue Ash, Ohio, who refused to return a football the neighbor kids accidentally tossed into her yard. Police said they had to arrest the cranky 89-year-old when she refused to return the $15 ball. “She chose to make a stand,” police said.