January 27, 2016

Bernie Sanders has a tear-jerker of ad out featuring the Simon & Garfunkel song "America," which got Stephen Colbert thinking. "America" is a perfect campaign song, but "Paul Simon has a huge catalogue of immortal songs," Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. "I mean his music, I think, could work for any candidate." He picked some choice songs for a handful of the candidates — Chris Christie, Martin O'Malley, Rand Paul — but had to cycle through three Paul Simon tunes to find the perfect match for Donald Trump. See if you can pick the song for each of those candidates, then watch below. Peter Weber

5:24 a.m. ET

John Oliver's Last Week Tonight began on Sunday with his native United Kingdom, "a place whose very name, after this week's events, is beginning to sound a bit sarcastic." Oliver had warned against Britain leaving the European Union last week, and Britons ignored him — and their prime minister, who's stepping down after the Brexit debacle of his own making. Cameron's fall "should make me happy, but in this situation it doesn't," Oliver said. "It's like catching an ice cream cone out of the air because a child was hit by a car."

Leading Brexit proponents Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage both declared the vote Britain's "independence day," which Oliver found odd, because first, "Britain was already independent — in fact, it's what many other countries celebrate their independence from — and second, the sequel to the movie they're quoting actually opened this week, and features the wholesale destruction of London, which is beginning to feel pretty f—ing appropriate right now."

Some British "Leave" voters seem to sense that, and they are expressing buyer's remorse — perhaps because they Googled what they'd just done — and Oliver had no patience for that. "As if all this couldn't get any worse, as the full impact of what Britain had just done was sinking in, Donald Trump showed up in Scotland to promote his f—ing golf course," he said, deconstructing Trump's meaningless reaction — and then his claim that America is next. "You might think, well that is not going to happen to us in America — we're not going to listen to some ridiculously haired buffoon peddling lies and nativism in the hopes of riding a protest vote into power," Oliver said. "Well, let Britain tell you, it can happen, and when it does, there are no f—ing do-overs." Watch below — but we warned, there is decidedly NSFW language. Peter Weber

3:25 a.m. ET

For all the daredevils out there, there's a new thrill perched 1,000 feet above downtown Los Angeles: A 45-foot-long glass slide that propels you down from the 70th to the 69th floor of the U.S. Bank Tower.

The Skyslide opened on Saturday, and offers unparalleled views of the entire city. It's not for the faint of heart — the only things separating sliders from plummeting down to the concrete jungle below are pieces of glass just one-and one-quarter inch thick.

The entire trip lasts a few seconds (tickets start at $27, and include admission to four observation decks), and is actually pretty simple; you sit on a piece of carpet and then go zipping down the slide. In a way, it's kind of like starring in a live action version of Aladdin — you're flying high in the sky on a magic carpet, except this one doesn't have cute tassels, and only someone as diabolical as Jafar would think it's a good idea to go sliding down a piece of glass atop the tallest skyscraper in earthquake country. Be prepared to use all three of your wishes on making it out of Skyslide with your nerves intact. Catherine Garcia

3:23 a.m. ET

In the lead-up to the Rio Olympics, expect a lot of glowing "inspiration porn" about the athletes going for the gold, John Oliver said on Sunday's Last Week Tonight. "But while the Olympics feature thrilling displays of athletic prowess, they can also take place beneath the dark shadow caused by doping scandals. And this Olympics is no exception." Russia has the most colorful scandal, so Oliver started there. But while "Russia's track and field team is currently banned from competing at the upcoming Olympics," he said, "there's nothing new about this story. For as long as there's been science, people have used it to juice the human body."

Still, the prevalence of doping today is surprising, Oliver said, given the robust anti-doping measures taken by major sports federations. "Despite rigorous testing, athletes are clearly slipping through the cracks, for multiple reasons," he explained. "For a start, there are multiple tests, and none of them can detect the full range of drugs an athlete may be on." Oliver ran through some of the ways athletes cheat the system, and more entertainingly, some of the excuses they've used when they test positive. And they do it, he added, in part because "there is a massive financial ecosystem dependent on spectacular athletic achievement in scandal-free games."

Oliver returned to Russia, using its sandal to diagram the global anti-doping system and how they can break down. "While this clearly isn't the system we need, it might actually be the system we want," he added, with an assist from the former head of the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA). Russia isn't alone, either, he said. "Think of doping like Vladimir Putin: It's far from just a Russian problem, it's something that adversely affects the entire world." The answer is not to just give up and allow doping, but the world has two choices going forward, Oliver said: "If we truly want to clean up sports, we should empower WADA by making it truly independent, and put pressure on the broader sport system to aggressively combat doping. And if we don't really care enough to make changes, we should at the very least make our syrupy athlete promos a bit more honest." If you've ever watched Last Week Tonight, you know what comes next. Watch below (with requisite NSFW warning). Peter Weber

2:45 a.m. ET

While accepting the Humanitarian Award Sunday night at the BET Awards, actor Jesse Williams gave a powerful speech about race in America and the pressing need for equality.

The Grey's Anatomy star joined the protests in Ferguson, Missouri, in 2014, and was also the executive producer of Stay Woke, a documentary out in May about Black Lives Matter. BET CEO Debra Lee said Williams received the award because of his "continued efforts and steadfast commitment to furthering social change," but he said the honor wasn't for him, but rather the "real organizers all over the country, the activists, the civil rights attorneys, the struggling parents, the families, the teachers, the students that are realizing that a system built to divide and impoverish and destroy us cannot stand if we do."

Williams said he also wanted to set a few things straight, primarily that "the burden of the brutalized is not to comfort the bystander — that's not our job so let's stop with all that. If you have a critique for our resistance then you'd better have an established record, a critique of our oppression. If you have no interest in equal rights for black people then do not make suggestions to those who do. Sit down." For centuries, "we've been floating this country on credit," Williams continued, and "we're done watching and waiting while this invention called whiteness uses and abuses us, burying black people out of sight and out of mind while extracting our culture, our dollars, [and] our entertainment." Watch the video below. Catherine Garcia

1:37 a.m. ET

At least two suicide bombers carried out an attack early Monday in the Lebanese village of Qaa near the Syrian border, local media reports.

At least six people were killed, Al Jazeera says, and Hezbollah's Al-Manar TV reports at least 19 were wounded. Earlier, the broadcaster said two people carried out the attack, but later revised its report to say even more suicide bombers were involved. The village's mayor told Voice of Lebanon that all of the victims were civilians, and three of the injured are Lebanese soldiers. No group has claimed responsibility. Catherine Garcia

1:10 a.m. ET
Jacky Naegelen/AFP/Getty Images

German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Francois Hollande are on the same page when it comes to dealing with the U.K.'s decision to leave the EU.

An aide to Hollande told Reuters the pair had a 30 minute phone conversation on Sunday to discuss the aftermath of the Brexit vote, and "noted their full agreement on how to handle the situation created by the British referendum." They talked about setting specific priorities and "hoped for full clarity to avoid uncertainties," the aide said. Merkel will host Hollande, Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi, and European Council President Donald Tusk Monday in Berlin to further discuss the matter.

Hollande said it's important for there to be a united front, since "separated, we run the risk of divisions, dissension, and quarrels," and added that what "was once unthinkable has become irreversible." While the European Commission's president said the U.K.'s withdrawal from the EU should start "immediately," Merkel's chief of staff doesn't think there's a need to rush. "Politicians in London should take the time to reconsider the consequences of the Brexit decision‚ but by that I emphatically do not mean Brexit itself," Peter Altmaier said. Catherine Garcia

1:10 a.m. ET
Jose Jordan/AFP/Getty Images

Spaniards were hoping for some clarity in a national election on Sunday, but collectively they appear to have endorsed the gridlock that has prevented the formation of a new government since similarly inconclusive elections in December. As in the last vote, Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy's Popular Party won the most seats, 137 (up from 123), but was again shy of the 176 seats need for a majority in the 350-seat parliament. The opposition Socialist Party won 85 seats (down from 90), while two relatively new parties, the leftist, anti-austerity Unidos Podemos party and center-right Ciudananos came in third and fourth, with 71 seats and 32 seats, respectively.

Rajoy declared victory Sunday night, telling supporters in Madrid that "we have won the elections, we demand the right to govern." The election came three days after Britain voted to leave the European Union, and Podemos leader Pablo Iglesias said his party isn't anti-EU, telling the BBC that he's "sad" about Brexit and that his party hopes "for a different Europe, we will fight for a Europe with social rights as a reality, and we are for Europe and the people in Europe." Peter Weber

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