Stephen Colbert's last Campaign 2016 monologue hits Trump's Twitter seizure, FBI email madness

(Image credit: Late Show)

last updated 8 November 2016

Stephen Colbert's Late Show was live on Monday night, so he was able to show footage from Hillary Clinton's huge rally in Philly with the Obamas, Jon Bon Jovi, and Bruce Springsteen. "Bruce talked about global warming and trade policy," he said. "Hillary, as always, ended with 'Thunder Road.'" At Donald Trump's rally in New Hampshire, Trump announced he'd been endorsed by New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, which Colbert found fitting: "It's no surprise Brady is a Trump fan because Donald always appears to be under-inflated."

At a Sunday night rally, "Trump had the Bruce Springsteen of insane bow hunters, Ted Nugent, and the Nuge did not disappoint," Colbert noted, playing the clip of Nugent grabbing his crotch and calling it his "blue state." "Is his crotch actually blue?" Colbert asked, confused? "Guys, I've said it before, if your genitals resemble the electoral map at all, please consult a doctor immediately."

But the bulk of the monologue focused on the New York Times report that Trump's campaign has wrested away his Twitter account. President Obama found that funny, but Colbert appeared concerned: "You can't take away Trump's Twitter account! That's like taking away Batman's utility belt — all you're left with is a billionaire with anger issues." Seriously, he added, "Trump based his whole campaign on that Twitter account. What's he going to do now? Write messages in bronzer on bedsheets and hang them out of the window of Trump Tower? His Twitter is Trump's lifeline to the world, especially since it was revealed Donald Trump does not use a computer."

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"Now, if Trump doesn't have a computer and they're taking away his Twitter, I think I know what's happening here," Colbert said: "If he loses tomorrow, his staff isn't going to tell him." He ended on the big final story of Campaign 2016: "FBI Director — and soon to be former FBI Director — James Comey delivering what may be the most infuriating takie-backsie in American history." He ended with a veiled message to Comey — and said to see it you'll have to watch his Election Night special on Showtime, where presumably the censors won't blur it out. Peter Weber

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.

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