Five weirdest Harry and Meghan royal wedding souvenirs

Prince Harry’s wedding to Meghan Markle is only a few days away, and if you want to remember the big day with a souvenir, you’ve got no shortage of options.

Royal watchers can snap up all the traditional memorabilia you’d expect, with souvenir shops stocked up on plates, mugs and tea towels emblazoned with images of the smiling couple.

However, there are also plenty of more inventive attempts to cash in on the royal wedding. Here are our five favourite ‘alternative’ commemorations of the big day.

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Prince of the pool

“Have I seen those Harry and Meghan swimming costumes?” is not a question that anyone will ever ask, because once you’ve seen them, their image is indelibly imprinted onto your brain.

Online printing service Bags of Love has capitalised on the royal wedding frenzy by using photographs of the royal couple as an example of how users can create custom gifts for friends and family.

We don’t know what it is - the stretched features, the extreme close-ups, the placement of Harry’s chin - but these costumes are uniquely horrifying. The only upside is that they could definitely clear a crowded pool.

Royal wedding night

It had to happen. A company calling itself Crown Jewels is selling commemorative Harry and Meghan condoms. Slogan? “Your prince will come.”

The box, decorated with a photo of the couple, reportedly plays God Save The Queen and The Star-Spangled Banner as a nod to the couple’s origins.

But before you lose yourself in an erotic royal idyll, the pragmatic South China Morning Post notes that “the lavish descriptions for this ‘condom of regal luxury’ are somewhat undercut by the warning: ‘This is a novelty product, not for use as a contraceptive’.”

Harry and Meghan: the comic book

What do the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Jack the Ripper and Harry and Meghan have in common? They have all been immortalised in a graphic novel.

Royals: Prince Harry & Meghan Markle tells the story of the couple whose unconventional romance has captured the public imagination.

“Has the younger son of Charles, the Prince of Wales, and the late Diana, Princess of Wales found love with a feisty American actress?” asks the book’s Amazon blurb. Without wanting to spoil the ending, you can probably take a punt on the answer.

Valley of the dolls

If it wasn’t for the names, you might struggle to identify this pair as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle:

The 18-inch dolls, the work of New Jersey history enthusiast and Etsy seller Shirley Corsey, were roundly ridiculed on social media for their lack of similarity to Harry and his bride.

Following the storm of media attention, a chastened Corsey reworked the dolls to bear at least a passing resemblance to their subject - Harry now has red hair rather than dark brown, for instance - although they are still just as creepy.

The ‘Megharrycino’

This one isn’t technically a souvenir in the sense that it you’d struggle to treasure it for years to come, but it deserves attention for sheer artistry (not a phrase frequently applied to royal wedding memorabilia).

Heidi’s bakery in Windsor is selling limited edition royal wedding coffees with an intricate portrait of the happy couple sitting atop each cup.

Made with a special machine, the photorealistic latte art puts the fern leaves and love-hearts of the average high-street cafe in the shade.

It also offers royal fans another advantage, as one customer who spoke to Reuters jokingly told his wife: “That’s the nearest to a kiss you’re going to get from Harry.”