How to raise happy kids, according to science

… the well-being of children is more important to adults than just about anything else — health care, the well-being of seniors, the cost of living, terrorism, and the war in Iraq. More than two-thirds of adults say they are "extremely concerned" about the well-being of children, and this concern cuts across gender, income, ethnicity, age, and political affiliation. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

… happiness is a tremendous advantage in a world that emphasizes performance. On average, happy people are more successful than unhappy people at both work and love. They get better performance reviews, have more prestigious jobs, and earn higher salaries. They are more likely to get married, and once married, they are more satisfied with their marriage. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Extensive research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and "negative outcomes" in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

… although the study did find that happy parents are statistically more likely to have happy children, it couldn't find any genetic component. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Because laughter is contagious, hang out with friends or family members who are likely to be laughing themselves. Their laughter will get you laughing too, although it doesn't even need to in order to lighten your mood. Neuroscientists believe that hearing another person laugh triggers mirror neurons in a region of the brain that makes listeners feel as though they are actually laughing themselves. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Multiple sclerosis (MS) patients who were trained to provide compassionate, unconditional positive regard for other MS sufferers through monthly fifteen-minute telephone calls "showed pronounced improvement in self-confidence, self-esteem, depression, and role functioning" over two years. These helpers were especially protected against depression and anxiety. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Parents who overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

The majority of the kids praised for their intelligence wanted the easier puzzle; they weren't going to risk making a mistake and losing their status as "smart." On the other hand, more than 90 percent of growth mind-set-encouraged kids chose a harder puzzle.

Why? Dweck explains: "When we praise children for the effort and hard work that leads to achievement, they want to keep engaging in that process. They are not diverted from the task of learning by a concern with how smart they might — or might not — look." [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Ten-year-olds who are taught how to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Molly: "I am SO SO SO MAD AT YOU."

Me: "You are mad at me, very mad at me. Tell me about that. Are you also feeling disappointed because I won't let you have a playdate right now?"

Molly: "YES!! I want to have a playdate right NOW."

Me: "You seem sad." (Crawling into my lap, Molly whimpers a little and rests her head on my shoulder.) [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

… preschoolers' ability to delay — to wait for that second marshmallow — predicts intelligence, school success, and social skills in adolescence. This is at least in part because self-discipline facilitates learning and information processing. In addition, self-disciplined kids cope better with frustration and stress and tend to have a greater sense of social responsibility. In other words, self-discipline leads not just to school success and sitting nicely at the dinner table but to greater happiness, more friends and increased community engagement. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

One way to do it is to obscure the temptation–to physically cover up the tempting marshmallow. When a reward is covered up, 75 percent of kids in one study were able to wait a full fifteen minutes for the second marshmallow; none of the kids was able to wait this long when the reward was visible. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Most kids already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they play. But kids today spend less time playing both indoors and out… All told, over the last two decades, children have lost eight hours per week of free, unstructured, and spontaneous play… [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Researchers believe that this dramatic drop in unstructured playtime is in part responsible for slowing kids cognitive and emotional development… In addition to helping kids learn to self-regulate, child-led, unstructured play (with or without adults) promoted intellectual, physical, social, and emotional well-being. Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

… research demonstrates a strong link between happiness and not watching television. Sociologists show that happier people tend to watch considerably less television than unhappy people. We don't know whether TV makes people unhappy, or if already unhappy people watch more TV. But we do know that there are a lot of activities that will help our kids develop into happy, well-adjusted individuals. If our kids are watching TV, they aren't doing those things that could be making them happier in the long run. [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]

Studies show that kids who eat dinner with their families on a regular basis are more emotionally stable and less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. They got better grades. they have fewer depressive symptoms, particularly among adolescent girls. And they are less likely to become obese or have an eating disorder. Family dinners even trump reading to your kids in terms of preparing them for school. And these associations hold even after researchers control for family connectedness… [Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents]