Re-wooing your ex-spouse online
A Minnesota man has been charged with stalking for allegedly re-wooing his ex-wife online in the guise of another man. Police said that Brian Cornelius, 36, adopted the pseudonym “Aaron Carpenter,” and over the course of a year-long online relationship persuaded his ex-wife to let him watch her over webcam, and confide “intimate details of her life and daily activities.” “Carpenter’’ even convinced her to skip the court hearing at which she planned to file a protection order against Brian Cornelius.

Karl Lagerfeld's love for Choupette
Karl Lagerfeld wishes he could marry his cat. Choupette, the 79-year-old fashion designer’s Siamese, already has her own staff of three maids, flies around the world in Lagerfeld’s private jet, and maintains (with some human assistance) her own Twitter account, which so far boasts more than 28,000 followers. “I never expected to fall in love like this, with a cat,” Lagerfeld said last week, lamenting that “there is no marriage yet for human beings and animals.”

Thief steals sex toys
An Oregon woman has reported the theft of $500 worth of sex toys from her car’s trunk. Chelsey Coutts said she purchased the toys—which she described as “blow-up items, all kinds of goodies”—for a bachelorette party, and kept them in her trunk “because I have two little ones and didn’t want them to see all the dirty things in there.” Coutts said the loss of the gifts was upsetting, and so was the experience of reporting it to police. The officer “started laughing,” she said, “but he felt bad so he asked me to describe everything in detail. It was just horrible.”