Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Automated leadership, after the extension of the Patriot Act was signed by an autopen, a machine that can mimic the president’s signature, because Barack Obama was in Europe. It’s commonly used for more trivial matters, such as signing Christmas cards.

Patience, after 12 descendents of grouchy lumber baron Wellington R. Burt, who died in 1919, finally split a $110 million inheritance. Burt hated his immediate relatives, so his will held back his money until 21 years after the death of his last grandchild.

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Finding Steve Irwin’s replacement, after 10-year-old Michael Dasher of Rockledge, Fla., hooked a 6-foot alligator while fishing, wrestled the reptile into submission, and dragged it home.

Bad week for:

Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York, after his Twitter account was used to send a suggestive photo to a female college student. The Democrat, who “follows” several young women through Twitter, says he’s hired a lawyer to find out who sent the photo.

Sharing frequencies, after Southern California residents reported that their garage doors were going up and down by themselves. The problem was traced to a nearby Naval weapons station’s new radio system.

Sin, after a Kansas University study of 15,000 people found almost no difference in the sex practices of atheists and highly religious people, except that the religious felt very guilty about adultery, masturbation, and certain other acts. The guilt “does not stop them,” said researcher Darrel Rey. “It just makes them feel bad.”