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Interstellar isolationism, after renowned physicist Stephen Hawking warned that earthlings should stop trying to contact extraterrestrials. “If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans,” he said.

Amanda Pogany of Brooklyn, who had her 1996 Honda Accord returned to her three years after it was stolen. The car had been souped up with a new V8 engine and leather interior, and a delighted Pogany said it looked like a hot rod in Grease.

Biblical literalists, after a team of evangelical explorers claimed to have found pieces of wood atop Mount Ararat in Turkey that were once part of Noah’s Ark. “It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark,” said one explorer, “but we think it is 99 percent.”

Bad week for:

Trekkies, after Leonard Nimoy, the 79-year-old actor who has played Star Trek’s original Spock for over 40 years, said he was retiring from acting as well as the Star Trek convention circuit.

Vices, after a British study found that a combination of smoking, drinking, inactivity, and a poor diet makes people 12 years older than they really are, and often leads to an early demise.

Dispelling superstition, after a group of female students organized “Boobquake Day,” in which women wore revealing outfits to mock an Iranian cleric’s claim that earthquakes were a divine punishment for immodest dress. A 6.5 magnitude earthquake hit Taiwan on the day of the protest.