Good week for:
Breathing, after Virginia, the home state of Philip Morris and the world’s largest cigarette factory, limited smoking in restaurants and bars to separate rooms that have their own ventilation. “Tobacco,” said legislator Joe Johnson, “is on its way out.”
Hens, after a British “free range” chicken farmer urged consumers to buy “medium” eggs instead of the more popular “large” or “very large.” “It can be painful to the hen to lay a larger egg,” said Tom Vesey. “It would be kinder to eat smaller eggs.”
Replenishing the ol’ coffers, as George W. Bush announced he was launching an international speaking tour before a business audience in Calgary, Alberta, on March 17. Bush hopes to give at least 10 speeches this year to make some money.
Bad week for:
Someone at the State Department, after Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presented her Russian counterpart with a button supposedly labeled “reset” in Russian, to signify a new relationship between the two countries. “It’s wrong,” said Sergei Lavrov, noting that the button was labeled “peregruzka,” which means “overcharge,” instead of “perezagruzka,” or “reset.”
Stoner music, when Hampton, Va., police arrested 194 Phish fans and confiscated more than $1 million in illegal drugs during the jam band’s first concert in five years.
Wildlife adventures, after a startled Australian family was awakened by a kangaroo that crashed through a window, jumped up and down on the mom and dad’s bed, and bounced into their terrified 10-year-old son’s room. The dad, 42-year-old Beat Ettlin, put the ’roo in a headlock and wrestled it out the door.
