Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Chimps, who beat humans in a test of short-term memory conducted by Japanese scientists. The results, in which the simians were faster than people in recalling a pattern of numbers from one to nine, challenges the assumption that “humans are superior to chimpanzees in all cognitive functions,” scientists said.

Salarymen, after a Japanese court ruled that Toyota had to compensate the widow of a worker who keeled over and died of a heart attack after logging 106 hours of overtime in a month.

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Hot pursuit, after a man named Warren Whitelightning stole a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and led several police cars on an 80-mph chase, leaving a trail of hundreds of donuts rolling down the streets of Madison, Wis. Whitelightning was charged with drunken driving, ramming a police car, and a host of other crimes.

Bad week for:

Moms who’ve fooled around, after Rite Aid began selling home DNA paternity tests for $29.99.

Nervous fliers, after the Australian Transport Safety Bureau reported that more than 90 percent of airline pilots have experienced “spatial disorientation,” a phenomenon that causes them to briefly hallucinate that the plane is moving in a way that it is not, or that they are out on the wing watching themselves fly.

Working your way through college, after two Ohio students were sentenced to 20 years in jail for two armed holdups. “I needed more money for college,” explained Christopher Avery, a 22-year-old engineering major at the University of Cincinnati. He and his accomplice, a theater major at the University of Toledo, told the judge they decided it was better to rob stores than to drop out.