Late night hosts joke about Trump's secret COVID test, CNN's Cuomo suspension, Dr. Oz's Senate run
According to Mark Meadows, former President Donald Trump "tested positive for COVID a few days before his first debate with Joe Biden," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. Three days afterward he was hospitalized with COVID, "but who could have known that he might have been positive at the debate that Tuesday? Let's ask my good friend, me from last year." He showed the goods.
Trump treated a second, negative test result as license to act like nothing happened, Colbert said, but "Meadows took a totally different view and 'instructed everyone in the president's immediate circle to treat him as if he was positive.' So no touching him, no getting close to him, avoid him unless absolutely necessary — a strategy the CDC calls The Melania."
"Meadows wrote that when he informed Trump he tested positive, Trump replied, 'Oh, sh-t, you've gotta be f---ing kidding me' — which is what most of us said when he was elected president," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Sadly, testing positive for COVID was the only positive thing he did in four years a president."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Meanwhile, "despite living in New Jersey for the past two decades, Dr. Oz is running as a Republican in Pennsylvania," Kimmel said. "But he promises to be the best New Jersey senator Pennsylvania has ever had."
The Tonight Show's Jimmy Fallon tested some Senate campaign slogans for Dr. Oz. The hands-down winner? "I Know Oprah."
"CNN has suspended Chris Cuomo indefinitely for his role in advising his brother, Andrew Cuomo, during his recent scandal," Fallon added. "Yep, Chris Cuomo knew something was up when CNN added a suspension countdown clock."
"The big problem is that Chris used his influence as a CNN journalist to help dig up info on Andrew's accusers, and people, that's not what CNN is about," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "CNN is about sitting 12 people together at a desk and having them yell at each other about whether Adele's Las Vegas residency is going to hurt Biden's poll numbers or not."
Trump ignoring his positive COVID test "is very relatable — I mean, that's why you second opinions," Noah said. But it was "especially irresponsible" that he then "went on stage and screamed at 98-year-old Joe Biden for two hours. Now, I'm not saying that Trump was trying to assassinate Joe Biden, but he definitely wasn't going out of his way to avoid it." He also slyly solved America's abortion argument.
-
Political cartoons for January 3Cartoons Saturday's political cartoons include citizen journalists, self-reflective AI, and Donald Trump's transparency
-
Into the Woods: a ‘hypnotic’ productionThe Week Recommends Jordan Fein’s revival of the much-loved Stephen Sondheim musical is ‘sharp, propulsive and often very funny’
-
‘Let 2026 be a year of reckoning’Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
Bari Weiss’ ‘60 Minutes’ scandal is about more than one reportIN THE SPOTLIGHT By blocking an approved segment on a controversial prison holding US deportees in El Salvador, the editor-in-chief of CBS News has become the main story
-
CBS pulls ‘60 Minutes’ report on Trump deporteesSpeed Read An investigation into the deportations of Venezuelan migrants to El Salvador’s notorious prison was scrapped
-
Trump administration posts sliver of Epstein filesSpeed Read Many of the Justice Department documents were heavily redacted, though new photos of both Donald Trump and Bill Clinton emerged
-
Trump HHS moves to end care for trans youthSpeed Read The administration is making sweeping proposals that would eliminate gender-affirming care for Americans under age 18
-
Jack Smith tells House of ‘proof’ of Trump’s crimesSpeed Read President Donald Trump ‘engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election,’ hoarded classified documents and ‘repeatedly tried to obstruct justice’
-
House GOP revolt forces vote on ACA subsidiesSpeed Read The new health care bill would lower some costs but not extend expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
-
Hegseth rejects release of full boat strike footageSpeed Read There are calls to release video of the military killing two survivors of a Sept. 2 missile strike on an alleged drug trafficking boat
-
Trump vows naval blockade of most Venezuelan oilSpeed Read The announcement further escalates pressure on President Nicolás Maduro
