How should you navigate debt when dating?
Three steps you can take to ensure your credit card or student loan debt won't become a dating dealbreaker


Dating is not always easy — and when debt enters the equation, it can throw in a curveball. Whether you are trying to determine how best to tell someone new that you have debt, or the reveal is coming from someone you just started seeing, the news can hit hard.
While "most Americans (90%) would theoretically date someone with credit card debt," said NerdWallet, citing a survey of more than 2,000 U.S. adults that it commissioned, for many, once that debt hits a certain balance, it does become a "dating dealbreaker." "On average," said the outlet, "$20,711 is the amount of credit card debt that would be a dealbreaker in a relationship."
The good news? There are steps you can take to make at least this aspect of dating a bit more navigable.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Avoid further ballooning your debt by dating over your budget
"When it comes to having a great time when you're dating and repaying debt, the first thing you should remember is to set a budget for how much you want to spend on your date and be respectful of your partner's financial boundaries," said Discover.
While debt may limit some of the more obvious romantic go-tos, like enjoying a fancy dinner out or sipping cocktails, there are plenty of things to do together that "don't cost a lot of money," said Discover. You might even win some points for creativity.
Be candid about your financial situation
As uncomfortable as divulging may feel in the moment, hiding your debt will not do your relationship any favors — particularly as things progress.
Of course, timing is key here, as is the seriousness of your relationship. "If you're dating casually, there's not a need to share the debt because you're keeping it more at surface level. But if you’re dating with the intention of finding a long-term partner, it's important to talk about it," said Talia Bombola, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to The Wall Street Journal.
When you feel it is time to talk about money with your partner, "look for opportunities where the discussion flows naturally as part of a conversation," said Discover. Additionally, said CNBC Select, "creating a safe space to encourage discussions about money with your partner will help you both ease into the conversation."
Have a payoff plan in place
Something that can ease the debt reveal: if you (or your partner, if they are the one carrying the debt) already have a payoff plan in place and underway. In the aforementioned survey, "more than three-quarters of Americans (76%) say having consumer debt — like credit card or personal loan debt — wouldn't be a relationship dealbreaker if the person had a plan to pay it off," said NerdWallet.
Depending on the type of debt, it is possible that solutions may include stricter budgeting, a balance transfer credit card, a debt consolidation loan or a switch up in student loan repayment, such as refinancing.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Becca Stanek has worked as an editor and writer in the personal finance space since 2017. She previously served as a deputy editor and later a managing editor overseeing investing and savings content at LendingTree and as an editor at the financial startup SmartAsset, where she focused on retirement- and financial-adviser-related content. Before that, Becca was a staff writer at The Week, primarily contributing to Speed Reads.
-
Nashville dining: Far more than barbecue and hot chicken
Feature A modern approach to fine-dining, a daily-changing menu, and more
-
Music Reviews: Coco Jones and Viagra Boys
Feature "Why Not More?" and "Viagr Aboys"
-
Visa wants to let AI make credit card purchases for you
The Explainer The program will allow you to set a budget and let AI learn from your shopping preferences
-
What are certificates of deposit and how do they work?
The Explainer CDs may be the right solution for your savings goals
-
What to know before cosigning a loan
the explainer Consider the long-lasting implications before helping out a loved one
-
How often should you check your credit report?
The explainer Contrary to what you might expect, your credit report does not contain your credit score. But it does offer a lot of other valuable information.
-
The basics of credit scores: how they are determined and why they matter
The Explainer A higher credit score is better than a lower one
-
How to invest for short-term vs. long-term goals
The Explainer You may want to implement a planned home improvement project in the near future while also saving for your eventual retirement
-
Standard vs. itemized deductions: Which should you take?
the explainer The deduction you choose can impact how much you save on your taxes
-
Are bonds worth investing in?
the explainer They can diversify your portfolio and tend to be a safer investment than stocks
-
What are your retirement savings account options?
The explainer The two main types of accounts are 401(k) plans and individual retirement accounts (IRAs)