Last Night on Late Night

Stephen Colbert's Late Show unmasks 'Pro-Life Spider-Man,' and Susan Collins is bound to be concerned

The Supreme Court's leaked opinion pointing to an end of Roe v. Wade and the constitutional right to abortion has galvanized proponents of legal abortion — but it has also energized abortion rights opponents. One of them, calling himself the "Pro-Life Spider-Man," was arrested for free-climbing a San Francisco skyscraper. So just who was that masked man? Wednesday's Late Show had a theory.

Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) would surely be shocked and disappointed if The Late Show's joke were real.

"After years of packing the Supreme Court with the expressed intention of overturning Roe v. Wade," congressional Republicans fecklessly declined to take their "victory lap," The Late Show's Stephen Colbert said in his monologue. "They're cowards, because they know it's really unpopular," so instead of talking about the actual decision, they focused on the leak itself. "Look, I can understand the argument that this leak is bad for the institution of the Supreme Court," he said, "but come on, did you think that waiting to release it this summer was going to make it a hot beach read: Your Body, His Choice?"

"Your ingenious plot worked, why don't you want to celebrate?" Colbert asked. "That's like a Bond villain saying, 'Yes, I did launch a space-based laser from my volcanic fortress, but giving me credit for incinerating London is just an effort to discredit my fluffy white cat!'" He also took issue with complaints on Fox News that Democrats are suddenly politicizing abortion rights: "Yeah, typically people wait until something happens to talk about it. Nobody on the Titanic was complaining about icebergs when they left the harbor."