Speed Reads


Jon Stewart mocks ISIS over apparent jealousy of Ebola, airs mock Ebola terrorist video

On Tuesday night, for some reason, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) released a Hollywood-style movie trailer apparently taunting the U.S. to send in ground troops to fight its militants. Jon Stewart wasn't impressed. "Did you say slick video?" he said in mock terror on Wednesday night's Daily Show. "I knew they had weapons but I didn't know they had Final Cut Pro!"

After cruelly suggesting that ISIS videographers can always work for CNN's graphic department if their "caliphate" doesn't work out, Stewart turned to an actual threat to the U.S. and humanity: Ebola. Unlike with Syria, President Obama is sending ground troops to deal with the outbreak of the deadly virus in West Africa. "Ooooh, what's the matter ISIS?" Stewart taunted. "Jealous?" Because, he added, "what sounds scarier: a bunch of dips--ts in pickup trucks or something that will liquefy your internal organs?" Point made, Stewart aired Ebola's "own slick video." And silly as it is, the Ebola video really is scarier than ISIS's Michael Bay knock-off. --Peter Weber