If you thought Hollywood would fail to cash in on the popularity of the World Cup, you would be wrong. And in true Hollywood fashion, it has gone back to the archives instead of taking the trouble to actually create something new. Entertainment Weekly reports that Warner Bros. is in talks to remake 1981's Victory, which improbably starred soccer legend Pele alongside Sylvester Stallone and Michael Caine.
The plot for Victory is wonderfully absurd. (Spoilers ahead.) The main characters are all Allied POWs in a Nazi camp. They organize a soccer match with their German captors outside the camp in a bid to escape. (Stallone, true to his American roots, plays goalkeeper.) The plan works beautifully; members of the resistance manage to tunnel into the locker rooms at half time, and freedom beckons.
But they would have to leave the game while the Germans are winning 4-1. As one character exclaims with Rudy-like optimism, "But we can win this!" So they return to the field to play out the game, and start scoring goals like crazy. It ends as a draw because the Germans cheat, but everyone knows that the upstarts are the true winners. And then they escape anyway.
The film is also notable for a mesmerizing, balletic slow-motion sequence of Pele performing a bicycle kick. It's so good that even the evil Nazi (Max von Sydow) can't help but applaud.
I cannot wait. Truly.