That Paul Blart sequel you didn't ask for hits theaters in 2015

In 2009, audiences around the world turned the Kevin James vehicle Paul Blart: Mall Cop into a surprise hit. The film grossed $183 million by promising filmgoers a slapstick Die Hard knock-off with a main character whose name rhymes with "fart."

But fans demanded more. After such a stirring introduction to the Blartiverse, and the countless colorful characters who populate it, why release just a single film? Why not shamelessly milk it into a franchise?

Sony is not deaf to your pleas. According to Variety, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is slated to hit theaters on April 17, 2015. (That's 379 days from now, if you'd like to make your calendar in advance.)

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Of course, the brief announcement leaves so many questions for fans to puzzle over. After six years of marriage, have Paul Blart and beloved crush Amy Anderson retained the spark that led to their marriage in the post-credits tag at the end of the first Blart? Does the evil Veck Simms have a brother who will seek revenge on Blart for stopping his evil plan? Will Jackie Sandler appear in another gratuitous cameo as a Victoria's Secret employee? The answers to these questions — and more — when Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (Yes, We Seriously Couldn't Come Up With a Better Title Than That) arrives in theaters next year.