Alex Rodriguez returns to the Yankees this season after a year-long suspension, and the biggest question facing the aging slugger is how sharply his skills eroded during the involuntary vacation. But the second-biggest question facing A-Rod is, of course, whether his loopy handwriting reveals an inner monster waiting to burst forth and destroy the Yankees from the inside.
To probe the latter question, The Wall Street Journal consulted Paula Sassi, a "certified master graphologist," who offered this illuminating analysis of A-Rod's handwritten apology to Yankees fans:
"He writes like a girl," Sassi said. "Feminine writing is more rounded, with a lot of connections, which he has throughout this. And a right slant. Masculine writing tends to be more angled, straight up and down, maybe printed." [Wall Street Journal]
Sassi added that Rodriguez's signature indicates secrecy, as if he is "covering his tush."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Why is this government shutdown so consequential?Today's Big Question Federal employee layoffs could be in the thousands
-
Lavender marriage grows in generational appealIn the spotlight Millennials and Gen Z are embracing these unions to combat financial uncertainty and the rollback of LGBTQ+ rights
-
The 5 best zombie TV shows of all timeThe Week Recommends For undead aficionados, the age of abundance has truly arrived
-
Primatologist Jane Goodall dies at 91Speed Read She rose to fame following her groundbreaking field research with chimpanzees
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
